What is this malaise,
          that awakens with each yawning day.
Quite the tortured mystery,
          to have a mind that seems intent on being rid of me.
Staring at shapes of shadows,
          creating fables with a brain that’s addled
With a nameless affliction.
Kingdoms have lived and died,
          with only I baring witness to their fall and rise.
Scattered noon sunlight sneaks,
        between dusty blinds and sets aflame the world on my walls.
It is here that I feel,
          screams of terror and the joys of triumph.
The delicacy of a daydream.
A place for me.

I close my eyes and
Try to imagine all the
Impossible things—

The things that God has
Done that I simply can’t wrap
My little head ‘round—

The continents He’s
Designed, the canyons forged and
The rivers that He

Made to flow, all the
Flowers He taught to grow that
Bloom in their seasons.

The world sings of the
Power of God, of the One
Creator of all.

This world He did sculpt
All for us with His perfect
Paintbrushes of love.

The eyes and tears were blind to the sorrow of the heart.

Let them think me strange
Unusual and odd

I'm not Danny Ainge
I'm just lonely Todd

Theology unlikely
Theology seeking God

I am no speed racer
Tonight i merely plod

      Ashes to Ashes
         Seattle sky
               Sod

This is the part of my life where I silently remove myself from anyone who hurts me more than they love me, drains me more than they replenish me, brings me more stress than they do peace, and tried to stunt my growth rather than clap for it.
I think I’ve done more than enough talking and trying to make things work with certain people.......I’m done!

staring at pictures of you
because i love your eyelashes
and your heavy eyes.
you look so sickly,
and tired,
but that's okay,
so am i.

we are magnetic stars
spiraling through the cold ocean of space.
colliding, my lungs fill with ink
joining frail hand in hand,
meeting softly,
sharing an oxygen tank.

our bedroom walls are the same,
our hearts: the same frame
your crooked teeth
and my awkward smile
almost— fit perfectly.