most people see me as
a happy person because
i laugh easily,
i smile a lot,
i joke a lot.

but deep down
in my heart,
i am fragile,
i can get hurt easily,
but i choose to not
show it to the world.

instead of being sad,
i choose to laugh to cover it.
maybe you can call me
"the queen of the mask"

by this,
you can tell
that most of the time
when I'm laughing,
I'm not really laughing,
i was trying so hard to hide
my sadness.

Good morning honey!
...Good morning.
I love you!
....Have a great day.
I miss you!
...Are you going to dinner?
Yes but I miss you!
...Enjoy dinner.
I want you, handsome!
....Thanks.
I LOVE YOU!
....Silence.
[Crying inside]

I want someone to need me
Or at least want me
To feel my presence
To turn to me for help
To cry on my shoulder
To ask to spend time with me
As much as I ask them

Because right now
I just feel like the unwanted friend
The one who no one really wants around
But politely puts up with

I'm the replaceable teammate
Who has useful skills
But my space could easily be filled
By a thousand other people

Everywhere I go
I am either unneeded
Unwanted, or replaceable
I am merely a spare person
Who people forgot
The moment I am beyond sight

There will be time
When I'll put down my arms
Lay my armor aside
Embrace the warmth, and live.

But until then,
gears up.

countless stares i see
i feel empty and it shows-
i won’t speak a word.