i learned how to read,
at the age of three.
learned how to make friends,
at the age of five.
started to top my classes,
at the age of seven.

but when i turned nine,
my parents started to crave for
my academical success
more than their own child.

when i turned eleven,
i started to feel like i was drowning
in an endless sea of
self-doubt and self-hatred.

so at the age of thirteen,
unfortunately,
i realized that the blade
from a pencil sharpener
can be used
for something else.

she's into the dark side
she loves it
she embraces it

because in the dark
no one can see

her tears
her scars
her battles

All that oppose your thoughts
      are not always the enemy.
      But rather a point of learning
      that can open pages of
                                     deliberation.

For if we do not attain every corner,
       and only look within one
       then we will never grow.
       but always be truthful to your own  
                                                subjectivity.

Now, what the hell has just happened to me?
i went to sleep, and felt semi human,
alarm goes off, open my eyes to see,
two mounds where my wee chest should be....

My ****** armpits stink, and have sprouted fuzz,
and there,s hair where my lady garden was,
my beautiful blonde hair is all goopy and limp,
and my face bares a likeness to a spotty young chimp....

When i went up to bed, i loved my dear mother,
now, the thought of a cuddle makes me run and take cover,
and that lanky Josh Owens used to repulse me, no end,
but today all i want is to be his girlfriend....

I suppose i will have to start wearing a bra,
and i,ll have to smile through all the taunts from grandma,
and my father will watch every move that i make,
and i,ll have to conform, for my sanity's sake....

Well, tonight when i lay down my spotty wee head,
i will lie here and wait for the morning, with dread,
with all these transformations,sweaty armpits, hair all grease,
oh dear universe, please help me make it through in one piece !!

(c)eileenmcgreevy@ymail.com2018   (re-edited)

These are strange messages,
in a sweet and deep
conversation;

Thoughts I speak
from fingertips
to myself,
and maybe
someone else,
as I dance
in and out of
other peoples
perspective,

aware that I
cannot connect
a hundred percent
to them
but I can get closer
then most others
ever get.

This comes from
a lifetime
of listening
and reading.

I find wonder in the warmth
of human connections.
They lessen
the coldness
of this
dark reality.

Which is why
it helps me
to see
strangers
happy in love
no matter what
their orientation
may be.