Honed fangs behind
sweet lips.  

Lips made to caress my
skin as they travel along
my throat.
So gentle he is,
For a monster

His tongue against my
jugular;
Heartbeats quicken.
Shallow breathing
as his dark eyes
bore into mine.

"Take me," I plea, "make me into you."

You are mine...
His voice is thick,
laced with seduction
but also some sort of
tenderness.

His movements
careful
slow
calculated.

He plants a
kiss on my neck,
fangs barely brushing.

*And I do not destroy that which is mine.

I really wish
I didn't break
now I'm here
on the floor
crying and wishing
you were here
to hold me close.

Like we used
to.
I hate
myself lately.
Because of how
I treated you
and how I made
you feel.
So here I am
wishing I wasn't
now I wish
I was dead.

All the time.

I  remember the day I lost my soul.
And I wish I could explain it better but how exactly do you explain your dignity being stepped on and your innoncence being ripped to shreds?
The details don't matter because they never do.
I just wanted to go back home.
I just wanted to go back twenty minutes and wait for my friend.
I just wanted to go back an eternity and never take my first breath because how can I still be alive when I feel so dead inside?
And I was just a kid, but I grew up twenty years in the space of twenty seconds.
I didn't cry because I was empty.
I didn't scream because my throat was dry.
I thought about flying and the sound my shoes wouldn't have made on the pavement had I had wings.
Then I thought about this guy who'd made wings out of wax in the legend, and how he'd gotten too close to the sun and died.
And I thought maybe I was already dead.
Because my wings were melted and I was already falling down I
Have drowned in oceans deeper than the universe and
Like a heart lost at sea I am a human lost in the billions of lives walking around me
And joking about **** and not realizing their jokes are not funny
Stripping me down to an skeleton, an object to be played with, a mass of skin and bones, a live doll who couldn't get her voice to be heard by people passing by and turning their heads the other way is not funny.
And I don't want to wish you dead
But I can't bear to see you alive
I have suffered a thousand nights
Your words on my skin like a burning fire
Boiling my blood with the anger a 16 year old should never have to feel
I have been walking the walk of shame
Eversince you spit on the floor where you lay my ruined soul and left me to die And maybe one day I won't wake up with the image of you at my throat but for now you poisonned my past so each night I bleed my ink on paper to forget the weight of your body on top of mine
and I can't trust or smile or live the way I did before and I fall asleep each night feeling your shadow breathing down my neck I
Am no longer a blooming flower but a rotten scent like the perfume you were wearing that night I
Am not dead but I don't wish to feel so I sleep and in my dreams I wash my face with your blood and wipe my tears with my courage so I can clear my eyes and watch you as I blink you away you have not won this battle
In my dreams I am the hero and I don't have bruises and marks imprinted on my body because you do not exist in my dreams
But then I wake up and take twenty shattered breaths on my shaking lips and even as I suffocate in a world that doesn't understand my pain I live each day stronger than the next and let your memory fall down the land of oblivion with the hope one day I'll turn around and you'll be gone.
I have hope.