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I've tried to hold on
I've tried to stay strong
I've tried to be the best i could be

But no one cared
No one wondered
No one tried to help me

I've searched for the light
But all i found was darkness
I'm broken and scattered
My hollow heart is heartless

With this said i can't take this
I've found the only way to end it
I'm holding this knife with my left hand
Ending it tonight with my right wrist

I'm sorry I wasn't better
But it's not like my life really matter
I'm sorry...
  Dec 2015 Jaxton Tyler Redmond
Kris
maybe turn your back
on the glaring light of day
these things could wreck
your mind and make it fray

bile and venom line your lips
a wall you throw up with your tongue
spit it out, make a rip
in the world that stung
before anyone gets too close
  Dec 2015 Jaxton Tyler Redmond
arham
how to not be selfish
how to love
how to walk away
how to stay gone
how to not care
how to not cry
how to live
how to breathe
how to die
how to stay dead
how to try harder
how to stop trying
how to get lost
how to be found
how to not feel alone
how to accept love
how to identify love
how to not die
how to not want to die
how to breathe
how to breathe
how to breathe
Alcohol is that nagging voice that tells you to drink a little more. That enough isn't enough. So you'll tip the bottle and the liquid is like fire going down the windpipe but that's what you want. You want to feel on fire so then people have a reason to care for you
  Dec 2015 Jaxton Tyler Redmond
LjMark
Someone asked me the other day
Could I ever date a Transgender girl
I think they expected a No, or Maybe
But a different answer popped out of my mouth
A special friend came to mind
A secret love I have
but mine alone, as she speaks only French
She is transgender, and date her I would
I dream of her nightly
dreams I can't put into words
We trans people speak of masks
Of who we tried to be before
Lying, acting, pretending to be male
With the woman we have always been
Hidden behind masks, confined to a closet

But I know for some it is also a mask
The attempts to look female and pass
To hide the body we hate
To be more the woman that we imagine us to be
But isn't that also a mask
The clothes and makeup, lipstick and wigs
Trying to make our bodies
Match who we are in our minds

This secret love I have, the intimate dreams
I want to take off all the masks
The wigs the makeup the clothes and shoes
I want to be with the person beneath all of the masks
That's who I dream of holding, that's who I long to love

by Lj Mark
These thoughts and feelings were inspired by a friends photo I saw this morning. It is part fiction, part truth, but is all from my feelings.
  Dec 2015 Jaxton Tyler Redmond
Antonio
He's back.

Watches from my bedside until  i rise.
As i do he whispers clear.
Asking why I'm still here.
Tie my laces, see a noose.
Look to you, whom i know ill lose.
Draining me, an emotional ploy
To him my life is just a toy.
Pulling, bending, break, and twist.
Waiting for the day I give in.
His control, an iron grip.
Im beginning to fear, he'll soon win.
He visits me like a ghost, and follows me. Constantly over my shoulder. He never leaves
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