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when  i a m alone-
i start to paint
with blacks and blues
and
gloomy greys.
i paint a  picture of
perpetual
pain.
and when i a m done,
and the
canvas
is bursting
i cut it away-
cover it up.
and i stand
there
staring
at the mineral white
paint
slightly faint.
I can't keep up. Constantly
Texting, typing, talking, to
Everyone but no one. These
Screens that become closer
Than our lovers hold secrets
We'd never tell each other.
We practically kiss pixels,
But people are forgotten
And passed on like last
Year's old phone make, as
If compassion wouldn't take
To trending.
I used to say,
"Sorry, I'm not enough."
Now I say,
"Sorry, I'm too much."
 Oct 2014 Tori Gadney
A Whitney
Paint me a painting
to vex Van Gogh,
My fondness then shall grow.


Sing me a song
to smite Streisand,
My love for you will be so grand.


Compose me a masterpiece
to blow away Bach,
Then my heart you will unlock.


Write me a sonnet
to shame Shakespeare,
Tell me now, am I asking too much dear?
just a single rose would capture my heart
To the boys who just want to touch me
You must know that I am not a momentary happiness type of person
Overthinking is my forté
My name is not chastity
Nor is it easy rather
Difficult and complicated
Hard to crack open
There is no sweet center waiting to be divulged
I am more like the sun
A ball of pure fire that burns at the touch
Anxious at the thought of unfamilar palms and fingertips
Meant to be admired from a distance
I will warn you not to get close to me
For magnets swim in my blood
And I cling to no extent
I am
Surrounded by a force field
I do not let down my guard
So if you want to touch me
You must first
Learn to love me.
 Apr 2014 Tori Gadney
F Jaxx
We consumed an entire bottle of cheap *****.
I wore that perfume you adore.
We laughed like children the whole way into town
stopping,
to kiss,
every few seconds.
Because maybe,
just maybe, lust is
temporary obsession.
That frantic need to close the gaps between two bodies
like all you are
will break and burst
if you don't touch.
that night you tattoo'd my name across your chest,
the same color as your skin.
we awoke mid day, deathly hungover with no recollection of the previous nights festivities.
And In the end,
I lost the city,
the restaurants we found together,
the friends we made... you kept.  
I got the dog,
she never loved you quite as much as me anyway.
And now, its summer, as you lay on the caramel sand along side your new girlfriend,
the sun slowly and adamantly browning your body,
my name appears
ever so subtly.
I always had a way of sneaking back into your soul,
never letting you escape my perfectly beautiful grasp.
as though your veins have a mind of their own.
As though your body refuses to believe that I am no longer running through you.
 Apr 2014 Tori Gadney
Elizabeth
I get drunk and read your poetry,
but I only do it when I'm
so drunk
that in the morning
I can't remember what you said
September, 2013
 Jan 2014 Tori Gadney
Kaitlin
Oh my little daydreamer,
Dreaming of better days
Dreaming of cotton candy clouds
and a sky you see your reflection in

Didn't anyone tell you silly little dreamer?
You can have anything you dream?
Open your mind, your soul, your heart
You are stronger than you believe

Daydreamer of mine,
Please don't grow up to be masochistic
Be a soldier that defeats any obstacle
Be a lover that loves in the loveliest of ways

My darling little dreamer
Be the dreamer of dreams for all of those who can't
For those of us who have fallen
For the ones who used to be daydreamers
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