your first step on the road to "recovery"
was to tape words on your reflection
colors littered with senseless lessons
colors littered with senseless rules

your second step on the road to "recovery"
was to trail words on the thin walls
tainting the white trim of your door
the words were like water seeping from
your demon flooded bedroom

your third step on the road to "recovery"
was to illustrate the words in unsustainable images
literally photoshopped to the unachievable
recovery became self indulgence

you have a skewed sense of progress
thinking consuming the clean will clear you of your sins
but your sins are buried deep in the abandonment you kept hidden
in the hallows of your debt

self recovery cannot be found with words spat out of context
hanging on your reflection
self recovery is found when you reflect those words into context

Am I a Christian?
Because I am a man of God,
who makes sure spreading the Gospel is my mission.
I go to church on Sundays just to stare and listen,
as the preacher in front talks about a book some guy has written,
Am I a Christian?
Because as soon as I step out of those doors,
my life takes a complete U-turn.
From the life of a Godly individual,
to one who's god is no other than the person he sees in the mirror.
I set my Facebook status to Christian,
and make sure I post a Bible Verse everyday,
and add a side note to trust in God and pray.
But when I'm having fun in a party,
or if I receive a blessing,
God's not on my thank you list,
I don't even thank Him for the things He so graciously gave me.
Am I a Christian?
because if I smile,
it doesn't mean I'm not beat up inside.
Just  because I pray,
doesn't mean that I listened to God during that day.
Just because my Facebook says I'm Christian
it doesn't mean that I'm actually listening.
Just because I tweet Bible verses,
it doesn't mean that my life reflects Jesus.
Because I can tell everyone that I know God,
but it doesn't mean that I am actually his son.
So am I actually a Christian?
Because when that day comes,
when we finally meet God,
will He tell me, "Come to me my son."
or will He say, "Who are you? Be gone!"
Am I a Christian?

I am merely a man,
And like every man,
I tend to fear.
But no, I do not fear failure,
Because I know I am merely human,
So every time I fall down the steps of life,
I can just pick myself back up and climb the stairs once again.
No, I do not fear embarrassment,
Because it is easy to hide an embarrassed face,
With a mask of laughter and happiness.
No, I do not fear the men in the alleyway,
Threatening me with their knives and guns,
Because if I am to die tonight,
I know I’ll be heading somewhere bright and filled with light.
But the one thing I fear the most,
Concern the things I do before I die,
The things that I will miss out throughout my life,
And the skills and gifts that I will fail to acknowledge,
Because like fruits,
If I take too long to eat from the fruit,
They will eventually rot and die.
No longer edible,
And have to be thrown away from my sight.
So what I fear the most is the day
when I fail to take a bite from the fruit basket of skills
that God has so graciously given me.
The day when the skills starts to disappear from my life,
The day when I will no longer be able to write a single rhyme.

our honeymoon was so fabulous at the start
then our love story fell quickly apart
this terrible occurrence wasn't foreseen
but when it happened our dream lost it's sheen

as with everything in life an end did arrive
we then realized our love wouldn't survive
some said as I got older things would change
their utterances weren't so strange

here I am to-day thinking of my love
and how he got too hot for this turtle dove
I once so adored his sunniness
but the heat he exerted finished in dryness

my darling summer man now isn't in favor
I have become partial to a winter man's flavor