The light shines down
On your pale face
And outlines your vulnerable lips
With a heavenly glow,
And bathes your pleading eyes
With pure light.

You look away,
Afraid,
Because you know that the light
Has always revealed your scars,
Your flaws,
Your imperfections.

But I simply laugh
And think
How lucky the sun is
To be so close to someone like you.

(a.m.)

"I've been shot" ,
That's when I pulled the trigger .

hey
Delivered 10:36 p.m.

we haven’t talked in a while
Delivered 10:36 p.m.

weeks
Delivered 10:36 p.m.

maybe even months, actually
Delivered 10:37 p.m.

truth is, i can’t remember the last time we talked
Delivered 10:37 p.m.

and, wow this going to sound crazy, but
Delivered 10:38 p.m.

i saved our last conversation. i keep reading over it, trying to figure out where i went wrong
Delivered 10:38 p.m.

but i can never find it
Delivered 10:38 p.m.

i can never find that one place where i ******* up, where i said something wrong, where i did something to tear us apart, or make you hate me.
Delivered 10:39 p.m.

and it *****, it really does.
Delivered 10:39 p.m.

matter of fact, “*****” isn’t a strong enough word to describe how awful it is
Delivered 10:40 p.m.

or how awful i feel
Delivered 10:40 p.m.

hurt
Delivered 10:40 p.m.

betrayed
Delivered 10:40 p.m.

used
Delivered 10:40 p.m.

and do you want to know what the worst part is?
Delivered 10:41 p.m.

the worst part, aside from the fact that i can’t figure out where i went wrong, is that, even after all of this
Delivered 10:41 p.m.

i still love you
Delivered 10:42 p.m.

i have loved you, i love you now, and i’m pretty **** sure i will love you in the future.
Delivered 10:43 p.m.

and i guess that’s half of what i came here to say.
Delivered 10:43 p.m.

but it’s obvious that you don’t feel the same.
Delivered 10:44 p.m.

and so i suppose that the other half of what i came here to say
Delivered 10:44 p.m.

is goodbye.
Delivered 10:44 p.m.

and though i’m sure that all your love for me has faded
Delivered 10:44 p.m.

and that my name hasn’t slipped off your ******* long time
Delivered 10:45 p.m.

all i ask of you is one thing
Delivered 10:45 p.m.

just don’t forget me.
**Delivered 10:46 p.m.

I only wish
I would have kissed you.
Nothing like the little regrets
over little things
we were not brave enough to do.

i. before

everything about her was light,
soft,
inviting.
her voice was gentle,
her eyes calm.
she walked
as if she was floating,
and her lips
were always curved
into a sweet smile.
she often wondered
how anything could go wrong.

ii. after**

everything about her was dark,
broken,
toxic.
her voice was venomous,
her eyes piercing.
she walked
as if she'd had a bit too much to drink
and her lips
were always curved
into a sour scowl.
she often wondered
how she lost herself.

(a.m.)

your father got drunk at your graduation
and i wanted to keep holding your hand.
you in your blue robes,
a white star in the sea,
your heart so palpable
like an artist's dreams.
your step-father pretended he cared,
but muttered under his breath during the procession
and i wanted to keep holding your hand.
i wished my fingers would grow like vines around your
palm
so you'd know i'd be there all along.
the ground may feel broken and your successes
made into background noise,
but you're my white owl
who carries all that is unseen
in your forest-touched eyes
and i believe that our hands,
as long as they're stuck together,
will give you the wings
to leave the rubble behind.

i had a friend once,
and she taught me
not to say "i love you too,"
because it sounds false and inauthentic,
and little white lies are worse than the cold, hard
truth.

i had a friend once,
and she taught me
that you don't have to do anything;
it's simply a matter of whether you should
or shouldn't.

i had a friend once,
and she lived in a small, boring town
with small boring people.

i had a friend once,
and she was not a small, boring person.

i had a friend once,
and she hated herself,
every last inch of her,
but she still always knew
how to make me smile.

i had a friend once,
and she would always reference books
or music
or movies,
because to her,
the real world just wasn't as appealing.

i had a friend once,
and i left her.

she stayed.

she waited.

i'm sure her hope wavered at times,
but she waited still.

and i came back,
only to leave again.

she didn't stick around this time, though.

so, you see,
i had a friend once,
and she taught me
to think deeply,
to live freely,
and to love truly.

i had a friend once.

she's gone now.

(a.m.)