I want to **** myself
Everyday
Every hour
Every second
And yet I haven't
Because every time the thought occurs
The aftermath seems to play out in my head

I don't want to be
the acknowledgment at the beginning
of a book i'll never read
  to my sister
  to my friend
  to my lover
  gone to soon
  i wish you could read this

I don't want to be
the sad news story that everyone hears
and wishes it weren't real
  a 17 year old
  young and bright
  lots of friends
  left behind family
  greatly missed amongst us all

I don't want to break
my already broken family
even if they are breaking me
  lost a sister
  lost a cousin
  lost a daughter
  sadness engulfs them all
  two families split back to four

I want to leave
And I'll never believe
The world loves me so much
That it will stop in place
Because I take my life
But even if
It's only half the truth
This idea of the aftermath
That would occur
Should I stop my breathing
I'll keep breathing
In
Out
In
Out
Just to see the world continue turning

-r.y.s

If you let me,
I would kiss you like
we were airport lovers.
The right people who
met at the wrong time.
Because I know you will
constantly be taking flight,
while I stay so heavily grounded
to this place.

you were the reason I didn't **** myself

this doesn't mean you have to love me

what it means is, I will always love you

Do not cry
You'll ruin your make-up

How ironic
that as I constantly reminded you
not to pour all of yourself
into someone who barely gave you
a piece of who they are,
I poured all of myself into you.
Now with nothing in return
I am so ******* empty
and with no one to blame but myself.
Can't you see what I've done?