you gave me that
"i know you want me" smile

& amongst the heat of the summer,
with flowers blooming on every corner,
the streets flooded with vendors selling handmade trinkets
& three layered icecreams to die for
i couldn't deny the fact
that indeed,
none of those things could even compare
to the look on your face

in that moment,
i truly could not have wanted anything
more than
*i wanted you

there are worse things than
being alone
but it often takes decades
to realize this
and most often
when you do
it's too late
and there's nothing worse
than
too late.

I prefer the way you feel between my thighs than inside my head.

i do not see the glass
half full or half empty
i see the lipstick stain
on the side
and wish
your mouth
was on mine
instead

i refuse to
wear red
but
i let my
wrists drain
the color
because
i like the way
it contrasts
against
the marble
bathroom
sink

i'm the
thorn on the
rose

I'll never admit
how i
dance
at 3am
when the world
sleeps
my clothes
on the floor
except
the black lace
around
my hips
wishing
instead
they were
your
lips

i won't
gloss my lips
and
wish for
yours
to do the job
for me

i taste
like
a
sad
50's
blues
song
you can't
stop
listening
to;
try for yourself

but buried are
these thoughts
and hidden
are the desires

lock & key
return to reality

awaken
9-5
sleep
die

i will die
with
a petal
hidden
where
no one
can find it
to signify
all
the love
which
never
came
my way