I have reached an impasse
on life's path
an immovable mass
I'm standing still whilst people are running past
if this was a race I would already be last
I cannot force myself to go on anymore
and yet cannot return the way I came
as my feet are rooted to the floor
so I just remain the same.

Feels like I'm on a stage
re-enacting the same scene
when I just want to turn the page
it should be over
has been
and gone
like a worn out song
that goes on and on
stuck on repeat
the same old beat
same moves
same shuffle of feet.

Caught between a rock and a hard place
stalled in life's race
travelling at a snails pace
at twenty nine
it's hard to define
why I still have this childish mentality
at some point I must face reality
yet I cannot go forward
because of a mental block
so things remain awkward
and now I have stopped.

My love is real
but my flesh is weak
my heart you steal
and forever keep.

For I am lost
and I am scared
I've payed my cost
my soul I bared.

These words I speak
that you may learn
it's love I seek
for you I yearn.

So take my hand
and dry your tears
so we may stand
when darkness nears.

What have we become?
the same thing that we despised
what happened to when we were young?
how can I now look you in the eyes?

What was right is now wrong
and what was white is now black
yet we still march on
because what we lost we can't get back.

For we exist within the grey area
lost somewhere in between
we've hit the invisible barrier
the place that's never seen.

I now embrace my imperfections
no longer chase the wind
no comfort or protection
for I know that I am sin.

Love is the only reason we exist
yet love can be a dagger to the heart that twists
the thinly veiled confusion of mist
of emotions mixed.
Unquestioning devotion to another
I'm not talking about the love for your sister or brother
but the kind of love that sets us on quests
the kind of love that is never second guessed
for it's with such certainty that I possess
to conquer all obstacles in my path
as I can accept nothing less
then the true love that lasts.

Surely my heart does not waiver
it's my mind that cannot savor
or comprehend
where love does wish me to send
for I am a slave to my brain
yet its my heart that does aim
a tortured beast
captured by beauty
torn in two and not released
contained within a cage
oh what my heart does crave
not more words upon a page
but the heat of breath
a brush of skin
a touch of flesh
a taste of sin.

Everything else is just a distraction
from my hearts true satisfaction
as I was created in love
and it's to love I shall return
this is not a lesson you can learn
it cannot be taught
as only experience does teach
from experience your heart is reached
and does swell
for it possesses every fibre and cell
all senses from taste to smell.

With love I may die a thousand times
but without it I die a thousand more
for what is life without its core
our very being
as I forgo all senses seeing
just for my heart to love again
and another word I shall not pen
if once more your love will send
or my life you may forever end.

This is why I write
for my words to incite
an insatiable passion
a dream that's everlasting
not this life that's fleeting
forever grasping
with every heart that's beating
and every breath taken
from the moment we awaken
for it's worth nothing
without loving
something or someone
with all our energy
with total consistency
but only you will know
what will make your heart grow
what really excites
i'm just here to incite
to create that spark
within your mind and hearts
I paint my words on paper
in order to shape your
destiny.

Now is not the time for hesitancy
the reluctant words that get tied upon our tongue
our voice faltered from when we were young
let no one halt your expressions
even if this is the only lesson
my only poem you ever read
let my creativity feed
into your subconscious
let my words breed
so you too want this
the urge
from my spark it does surge
until you can no longer sit still
from just a thought it becomes real
more than just a chemical reaction
let it become lasting satisfaction
so stand up and take action!

My mind clouded with false judgements
my heart out pours in abundance
but no ones here to catch my tears
for no one hears my minds fears
i told them all to you once
but i guess even for you it was too much
for its full of ***** ******
whilst in my bed lies metaphors.

How long must we play this game?
where I get angry and you do the same
pretending that we just don't care
oh what a stupid pair
for what was our crux
from that tree is now plucked
so i cast my mind on new horizons
where upon my thoughts are silent.

I still remember things from years ago
but your face has started to fade
it's not what you say but what you know
and I don't know those memories made
how I wish I had a picture of us
side by side holding hands
my head is full of all this stuff
films, books and bands
yet the only thing I wish to remember
was your rosey cheeks on that cold December
an angel in the snow
how I wish to know
what I once knew
that picture of you
of us..
what's lost...

I’ve dreamed of many things
of queens and kings
I've seen within
how soon it takes
for moons to break
and stars to burst
but which came first
the dream or the dreamer
I’ve already been here
a million times
lived a thousand lives
so watch me die
a supernova
still a ******
the sun, my lover
I’ve tasted warmth
and burnt my tongue
I’ve cried through fear
but didn’t run
so still I’m here
lost in dreams
fighting giants
without the means
I’ve been the hero
and the villain
of the same story
so I keep killing
as nobody’s caught me
death to the dream and the dreamer of things
let us see what reality brings.

Before she became a teen
she remained unseen
just another girl
lost in the world
now she’***** puberty
now everybody sees
now they stare
they pretend to care
now she’s found fame
same picture different frame
the unwanted attention
the objectification
not ready for this
not had her first kiss
but predators lurk
they hide in the woods
she clings to her innocence
but has stumbled into womanhood
now she bleeds like the rest
burdened by chest
she’s not ready for this
she’s not ready for this
her best friends dad
now gives her the eye
she wishes she had
the ability to lie
to pretend all is okay
that it’s meant to be this way
but she wants to turn back
but the facts are the facts
she’s no longer a girl
no more a child
it is what it is
she’s not ready for this
just leave her alone
she’s not ready for this..

.......it was easier at the start because my heart wasn’t involved,
my art didn’t revolve around you.

I resolved to be true.

That was my downfall.

This grown fool so easily displaced and his heart laid to waste before you all.

I was never a magician I couldn’t make feelings disappear but I could conjure up a million memories out of thin air.

You didn’t care at least you stopped caring if I was wearing my heart upon my sleeve like some fashion trend.

I still can’t pretend I’m over that phase, the graze of love still got me bleeding in patches and my heart still latches onto those distant memories like songs once sung in harmony

but what is a songbird with clipped wings that still sings to the same old moon?

People got tired of his tune his somber melodies so he learned to bury memories........

I the lie that keeps on giving
twice denied life and the living
we sacrifice our palms and bury our feet
with smiles disarm with smiles we eat
a feast a deluge all is devoured
our sensibilities overpowered
why rest upon a tattered bed
when you can sleep with sin instead
and waste away your weary hours
building castles, steeples, towers
all will crumble in the end
and so to you my dearest friend
let’s raise a toast to that which haunts
the holy ghost and spirit it taunts
that knows not good or evil
a land of lost forgotten people
but may we tread a righteous path
for who knows which will have the final laugh.

Pieces of the master echo through the halls of time
his fingers reaching out like twisted vines
clawing at our selfish center
the words that continue to linger
urging us to walk the straight and narrow
words that don’t worry the sparrow
maybe because they've learned to fly
all I ever learned was how to die
death haunts my deepest parts
but it’s darkness hasn't reached my heart
a light that's always glowed
it beats out his message in morse code
maybe a wiser man would heed the call
as others look on and shout, the fool!
"how can you adhere to ancient wisdom?"
they’ve blocked their ears they do not listen
yet upon his fruit they still feast
ignorant of the original masterpiece.

I once mistook a bed sheet drying in the wind for a white flag
maybe surrender is love, you may quote this

it's the small things that I notice, the way she strokes the back of her head when she's thinking as if comfortably reassuring that the answers will come

I always had the answers but never to the questions that were important;
like why can't I surrender my heart
why does it hurt so much to let you go
there are so many things I don't know
but she's not here to ask her
so I forgo the answers

I will continue to hang my heart out to dry
a red flag for all who look my way
there are no words that I need say
just a come what may
it came and went and came again
I'm still the same my friend

maybe the answers will never arrive
maybe I need to surrender instead of survive
there have been so many maybes and may days but lately it's too much
I miss your touch
not physical but the way you were able to breech my barriers,
you touched my heart as cheesy as that sounds
but I'm a romantic so I'm pro dairy

my poems have become my diary
I milk my heart for all its worth
for all its hurt and pain
I would do it again
fall in love with you.

off they go
in their droves
men and women
and bears dressed in clothes
the circus is leaving
it's needed no more
Babylon has left
along with its ******
debauchery and filth
if they can't lure you with ***
they'll ****** you with wealth
I became corrupted
as many of you were
then the volcano erupted
with palms crossed by myrrh
a bribery of sorts
so they never return
but who knows what works
when there's no students to learn
I came, I saw and I conquered
I wrestled demons into the night
there were many things that I feared
even the truth exposed by light
now I am the liberator
to those that cry for help
you may bind and sedate her
but the truth is always felt.