What  of this marriage
Promised Companion?

                   Trading of Friends
                   Lavished in Lovers

Hatred@Sharing ■Families&Responsibility;
       Differentiation shifts all dynamics

Waiting...
                    to
                 make.
                 sense
     《《《   of
                    it
                    all 》》》
All the While acknowledging
t
   h
       e
             ex-
                  -hilar
                              -ating­,
in.       cating
    toxi                   feel of Chaos and Love

{Love} and War
To struggle to get out of the straight jacket of your love...
Yet, it is your unconditional clause that makes me come back to perch on your familiar limbs...
Binding our vows
This living Freedom
This allowance
This You that We Are
THIS is what I Love ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

[You] were written
Never ₩ could my feelings spawn, >>>mediocrity<<<
{You} were Written
With |time| and ■sincerity■
You were --> written
             With love♡
                        
                        and...    ­        
          
                                     ••••• hesitation☆

I could only find you to be provocative and Inspiring... But never mediocre.

To face this day in the still of night
How brave am I to tears
And decades of time
Wrapped in memories

Memories and flashbacks
Childhood. . . Grandma
Spoiled
Peaceful, country meadows
Ponds
Spaghetti O's
Roast beef,  beans and cornbread
Homework
her third grade education
Finding me with n Strangers
When my mom decided to go on drug fending binges from city to city
The swingset I wanted
The mudpies she ate
The sacrifices she taught me of
The determination she instilled
The cold mornings she made fires
Warmth,  breakfast in bed
Kittens, clotheslines,  and the never ending biscuit bowl that I never understood how it remained full day after day.
The plaits I hated yet love now
The smell of her clothes
How she sashayed when she dressed up
Her anger
Sitting in the porch with our dog Spot
Princygal the cat
Late night peanut butter cookie baking
The sign in her wall that said
Life is one fool thing after another
Love is two fool things after each other
That I read over and over again until finally I understood.
Everything clean and cooked by noon

What happens tomorrow?

The most uncomfortable silence I've felt is the one I've recently experienced on my way to take my grandmother home who is much like my mother because she raised me when my mother wasn't around. 

The dead of air
The thickness of silence
Coated in negative possibilities
With her words echoing through the shock of my mind.
It is time to say goodbye...

As I gamble with the thought of responding and respecting my elders.

Not able to hold my tongue now because time is of the essence.  Its now or never or now or next lifetime.

As the emotions Weil before the surgeons crackling words of such paralytic news.  Words and emotions
forgiveness and peace

Nothing to explain what could and would be to come next.

As long as she knows she's loved
And I did everything I could to the point of exhaustion

The unmoved,  unloved,  yet never foresaken or so she says...

Grandmother,  Granny,  Grand ma ma

Maybe this death marks the stake post
Of a past life...
Something that says act right
Or make them chain fight

I wondered if I told her that I loved her would it save her life today
Amidst the face of her depression...
Did you know,  I've thought about texting you every moment that passed
I wanted to make this word her breathe of life
I wanted her touch
I wanted to make this vessel a reason to love again
Leaving everything and nothing
Love is about losing
Fainting
Faith and being weary
Dying, Hurting, Starving
the filling and emptying of Body and spirit
Like liquid is to air
Longing and yearning
I remember what your eyes do
I hear the pain
And feel the pleasure in a, solitary glance
This frequent change of tide
Hosting beauty and misery....