thepuppeteer

thepuppeteer Aug 15

The Fear Inside Me part one? a short story

Utterly consuming, weaving around my body like a snake. Spiraling and spiraling until there's nothing left of me. You need to leave. You need to get away. Get away. Get away. It makes my stomach drop. "Why is this happening to me?" I ask, to whom I do not know... "I was never like this before. I could challenge the world if I wanted to. So... answer me... why? Why is this happening to me?" And yet... no matter how many times I asked, the thing would not answer. I wondered if I was dying, perhaps that was the reason why all I could feel within my body was an all-consuming feeling of dread and fear. At this point, I was begging the thing for an answer to no avail. I was hopeless, I wanted to do what I could do before. I wanted to explore, to look beyond the world, beyond the stars. But this ****** fear stopped me from doing any of that. The thing patted my head and asked me a question, "Do you think your fear is unreasonable? That it is there for no reason?" It smiled briefly before saying, "You should be grateful, for I may save your life one day."

This was originally supposed to be a poem, but I ended up turning it into a short story instead! I might make a part two, but I'm not 100% sure yet! I wonder if anyone can figure out what the fear being talked about here is... :)

#short #fear #deep #consumption #terror #growth #dread #young #personification

thepuppeteer Jul 22

Listen to me

The river flows
But not outside of me
My body
As much as I tell it
It will not respond to my emotions
As much as I cry inside
It will not cry outside
As much as I smile inside
It will not smile outside

It's been a while since I've posted, but I just haven't had much inspiration lately. I finally got inspiration but not in the way I wanted... My grandmother fell at the movie theater yesterday and broke her arm, she was rushed to the hospital had her surgery today. We rushed to see her, and as much I wanted to, as much as I tried, I wouldn't cry. I felt guilty as I saw my mom sobbing uncontrollably, meanwhile I had such an unemotional face. I' autistic and it's like my body doesn't show my emotions, I cry for myself, like when I get yelled at, or am stressed. But, when it comes to death, injuries, even when I myself am injured I just can't cry. And when it's another person, it just hurts so much, because I want to cry, I want to sob, I want to show my pain, but my body won't do that. It's like having a constant mask on my face but one that I don't put on, the real mask is the one that shows the emotions because I hardly ever show lots of emotions on my face. Writing like this has helped, I think I've even found some more inspiration :) to whoever has read the entirety of this, thanks for reading I hope you have a wonderful day or night!

#emotions #pain #tears #autism #poetry

thepuppeteer May 25

Taking and Taking

You take and you take.
Never asking if it's okay.

If I were to take and take.
You'd get mad and tell me to ask.

How is that fair?

I smile and smile.
But really I'm upset.

How far I've grown.
To not have hit the roof.

And yet nobody notices.

You take and you take.
Never asking if it's okay.

If I were to take and take.
You'd get mad and tell me to ask.

Will you ask me for my heart next?

thepuppeteer May 24

Toll of the Bell

We beat our drums to the sound of the bell
But we can not copy the sound
So we'll dance, and sing in celebration
For peace has finally come
With the fog cleared up
We can see the truth
Together we wait
For the islands' singing voice to sing again
When the bell tolls
The story will repeat again
Over and over again
As we sing till our voices reach the sky

#peace #bell #dance #song #celebration

thepuppeteer May 24

Art is a Lifeform Version 2

Flowing across the page
Everything comes to me at once
The colors dance upon the paper
Like a performance on a stage

A dance of colors
Swirling in every direction
Jumping and turning
Just like a little dancer

I am voiceless
If I had words
Would they be even more beautiful?
More beautiful than my words without sound?

A question I have no answer to
So I just let the colors dance
Spinning and turning
They go round and round
It's such a colorful display

Colors flowing across the page
The colors dance upon the paper
The only one in the audience is me
Watching as it becomes alive

My eyes grow wide
It makes me want to sing a sweet symphony
Aiming for the stars
Had to chip away at stone

Looking at how far I've grown
Like a blooming garden
The sun shines the brightest
And the flowers will start dancing

Twirling in my finger
It sparks a tiny flame
Growing larger
And brighter

As they take their final bow

thepuppeteer May 24

Art is a Lifeform

Flowing across the page.
Everything comes to me at once.
The colors dance upon the paper.
Like a performance on a stage.

The only one in the audience is me.
Observant and thinking about the next step.
I am voiceless.
So I let the dancers speak for me instead.

As a voice for the voiceless.
They understand my heart.

Colors flowing across the page.

The colors dance upon the paper.

The only one in the audience is me.

Watching as it becomes alive.

#art #creation #voice #creativity

thepuppeteer Apr 16

Destroy Me

I'm not in control

I can't stop

I don't want to destroy myself
But my hands, they do

I yell and scream
Try as I might
I cannot stop

My hands won't listen to me
They are not mine

Please stop tearing me apart
Please stop the pain
Please stop destroying this body of mine

This poem is about a type of BFFB disorder known as Skin Picking Disorder. I feel rather uncomfortable talking about this topic other than what it's about, so I would appreciate it if you don't ask questions about my struggles with it personally.

#control #selfdestroy #bfrb #disorders #skin #health