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pri Aug 2018
this poem needs a continuation
-it has to be metaphorically beautiful,
more than us.

it -this poem,
should be a ballad.
a saga.

but darling, we’re not really anything,
we’re not really anything at all.

i wish i could break these walls down,
but these words (honey, sweetheart, darling),
they get stuck in my mouth with you.

i wish i could tell who made me realize,
who my “special someone” (as you said it),
is but i don’t want to ruin us.

you’ll only be darling in my head.
we’re only lovers in my heart.

every dance i’d dance with you,
but i know i couldn’t dance with you,
unless you knew everything.

but if you knew everything,
you wouldn’t want to know me at all.

so there’s the reason -
this ballad, love song, work of art, horrible poem for a lover
will stay in my heart.
pri Aug 2018
i’m trying to see what you meant
-when you said she was our kind of beautiful.

our skin is the same, a pimple in the same place,
and the same hair and color.

but have you seen your eyes?
in mine they looked golden.
and then green.
and then yellow, brown and back to gold again.

i know you’ve felt my hair,
and it felt softer in your hands
-you made it beautiful.

the comb, the brush
and my only regret was i didn’t do yours.

i also remember this
-you said you liked this clip,
this dress.

well the dress is still hanging,
and you can be sure i’ll wear it,
next time.
pri Aug 2018
the other girls do strange things,
but they don’t mean it.
i can explain.

it's infuriating,
like the way my laptop won’t scroll.
i can’t read the comment section.

but it also kind of feels like the intro to a song
-the first flute, the first voice, the first breath of air.
the beginning of a story.

when you add that first swab of lipstick,
it has a voice like my crush:
sweetheart, you’re gonna be beautiful.

because sweetheart,
you are so much more than beautiful.

strange -i’ve never used the word sweetheart.
but it fits, because never have i ever,
never have i ever fallen.

i swear i didn’t plan this,
but i’ll dance to this music i’ve made.
it’s great music.

offbeat though, isn’t it?
because i think i’m dancing to another beat,
and wondering if you can do it too.

the other girls, they think you can’t dance,
but they don’t know anything about us.

honestly, you’re the only one of those girls,
the only one that exists.
i wish the others knew i was here for you.
pri Aug 2018
his voice is like smoke and stars,
and a sad soft guitar,
outlined with hope.

so much hope
-so much strength,
so much that’s gone.

you look up to the skies
-something beautiful has happened,
and now you’ve begun to face the tragedy that came with it.

feet move to the beat,
a hand pulls you along,
but that hand let go.

and suddenly your
feet are made of stone,
dance no longer.

he understands,
and translates.
velvet, hope, heartbreak.

it’s not just lovers,
it’s not just lovers,
that cause heartbreak.

you and us and all of us,
we were good and we did it
-we broke each other’s hearts.

nobody really knew,
but even though you,
you didn’t know me.

you became the closest person,
because i didn’t have anyone,
or let anyone hold me while i cried.

but you -just you,
you did hold me somehow,
everything you did was like a blanket.

when i doubted them,
when they weren’t enough,
you.

a warm embrace,
a translator for a girl without words,
smoke, stars, and soft guitar.
inspired by brendon urie (dying in LA)
  Aug 2018 pri
roses
The first time I kissed you it felt electric
It was cold and raining, and we were hiding from teachers
At a school football game because you were in uniform and didn’t want to be seen
The first time I kissed you we were both holding hands
My head resting on your shoulder and you looking down at me with soft eyes
I sighed and giggled because the moment was too cliche and awkward for a teenage hookup
But then we kissed and it didn’t feel like that
It felt , like I was loved or at least liked
Your lips tasted like cotton candy, which was strange because this wasn’t a carnival
Just a high school football game with hot dogs and Coca-Cola
And when you pulled away and looked me dead in the eye, you said
“That was the best kiss I’ve ever had.”
I laughed because I’m stupid and I wanted to believe that you were honest
And so, for that one blissful afternoon, we were ‘together’ and I liked it
I liked you
So, for that one and only afternoon, my world was only cotton candy kisses
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