It is us, The Legion of Farron
Destroyers of evil is what we swear in
Our blade might fall but will rise again
Swallowed by darkness, we shan’t die as man
Have we become what we had sworn to eradicate
How foolish we were to deny our own tragedy and fate

At school I had trouble socializing,
And still, The Owl, comes all too late?

My formative years are spent deep within caves searching,
Yet The Owl is never found there?

The failures and sadness accumulate over time,
Leaving The Owl traversing some other’s sky,

I feel life slipping away each day,
And still The Owl never manifests!

Where is The Owl? Does it not come with time?
Will cleverness induce her, perhaps woo her with rhyme?

Quell restless mind, The Owl reforge me so I’m freed!
Grant me your talons so that I may succeed!

And still, The Owl, who never manifests,
And still The Owl never manifests.

I curl chalky fingers into travertine-grip,
Aged ruin takes a hold, in my despair as I slip,

Sans which The Owl never did manifest,
To wit, sans The Owl, pounding sand as I jest,

So what, The Owl, never did manifest?
And still The Owl never manifests.

Life without The Owl, was no life at all,
No solemnity of greatness, a life of doltish pit-fall.

And still The Owl never manifests.
And still The Owl never manifests.

Maybe we all write about the same things
Because life is unfair to everyone
And we all know the same pain
Because we are the watchers
We are the feelers
We are the poets
And while some people go along
Completely oblivious to the hell around them
We're the ones condemned by it
Because we're the one who see it
And breathe it
And write it
So good luck to you
All of you who write away the same sorrows that I do
Because it doesn't get better from here
I wish for your sake that you had never noticed

Every child knows there's monsters
Hiding in the closet and under the bed
But, I have a secret each child should know
And it's about a Galumpher instead....

Galumphers are watchers
They help keep the peace
They help keep the monsters in line
With three eyes on the closet
Three on the monster
And three more...did I mention they've nine?
They watch where you're going
And they keep out of sight
And you can sleep through the night mighty fine.

Galumphers aren't dangerous
They live under the bed
They eat socks and the occasional mouse
But, the one thing that's certain
With a Galumpher, well fed
You won't find bedroom monsters in your house

If you believe in those monsters
You'll believe in these too
They're as real as the monsters you fear
Just remember Galumphers
Are there eating your socks
And with them, the monsters aren't near

I've never seen a Galumpher
But I know they're real
I know this, because I once was a kid
My dad checked my closet
Before he'd turn out my light
Because I knew that's where monsters all hid

But, one night he told me
Of the Galumphers that watched
With their 5 ears and nine eyes to see
And as my socks all went missing
And the mice disappeared
The Galumpher became a friend to me

Should you meet a Galumpher
Out from under the bed
Just smile and pretend not to see
For he's probably out
To get the dust bunnies off
And to go and have a long ***.