I never got to say goodbye,
never got to touch your hand—
so many times I tried— I try.

You evaded me, you were so sly,
clowning about with your band—
I never got to say goodbye.

My father called to tell me why,
his voice hollow, canned—
So many times I tried— I try.

That final day I began to cry—
my mother’s tears run on command—
I never got to say goodbye.

There was not one dry eye,
“Let go”— I hear a man demand—
So many times I tried— I try.

Even now, I wish to fly,
To say ‘this was not the plan’—
I never got to say goodbye,
So many times I tried— I try.

You’re left at the back, anxious at sunrise
as day by day we drift through consciousness.
Ring the Bell. These thoughts are your demise

Act profound, fixating us with lies
Invigorate a prompt adress;
your qualms are back, anxious at sunrise

You’re mother’s boy, your father’s eyes
they know first hand, you’re prone to stress:
so ring the bell. Your thoughts: our demise.

Refrain from fear, nor anthropomorphise:
doe’s endear, their bliss is careless.
You’re stuck at the back, anxious as sons rise

and fall or fail to climb. Surprise,
surprise, with fear of death you now obsess,
over the bell. Our words: your demise.

They say you’re fine, you compromise,
it’s in your head, that last abscess.
You’re left to rot; absent at sunrise
they’ve all forgotten. Those thoughts, your demise.

Determined will of life fades tonight
Through all prior existence I find myself at this finality
The end of our road shifts into my sight

A brief moment of reflection transposes our line of thought
Memories built up now fabricate premonitions of abnormality
Determined will of life fades tonight

Time will march on even after attaining the truth which I sought
Departures from our astral sour occur only within your eternity
The end of our road shifts into my sight

Two beings of light in a world of darkness forgot
The omnipotent link between them now locked through neutrality
Determined will of life fades tonight

My mind which was only filled with thoughts of you is now in distraught
As our interactions within these halls turn into nothing more than an insignificant formality
The end of our road shifts into my sight

I can see that my efforts were in vain as you walk away no matter how much I fought
With every step you take I can feel you poisonously draining my vitality
Determined will of life fades tonight
The end of our road shifts into my sight

Though your heart searches on, longing for him,
Hoping he’ll return to you as if on a whim.
The man you loved is now no more

You tell me his eyes had sparks of life and love,
That his smile shone brighter than the stars above.
Well I’m not the man you’re looking for.

I know of whom you speak, he once was a dear friend
But as broken heart drove this man to his end.
Thus the man you loved is now no more

Still something about me make you remember, you chide.
That this rugged, cold face hides his kindness inside
I told you, I’m not the man you’re looking for.

In your quest did you once think that he left for a reason?
That maybe it was neglect that led his heart to treason?
No matter, the man you loved is now no more
And I’ll never again be the man you’re looking for.

I thought I'd write a villanelle
though form is not my forte
yet I'll try, what the hell

Let's see if I can do this well
as an exercise in structure
I thought I'd write a villanelle

Can I make my verses swell
write five of them as tercets
well I'll try, what the hell

For to my inertia quell
while my muse is absent
I thought I'd write a villanelle

Now I've fallen to the spell
but the next must be a quatrain
so I'll try, what the hell

My words upon the page do jell
and this is almost finished
I thought I'd write a villanelle
then I tried, what the hell

Cynthia Pauline Jones, 10/5/2014

One of these days, happiness shall be mine.
The clouds will disperse, sunshine will come to stay.
I need only keep a weather eye on the silver line.

Sometimes it is easy, it is hard sometimes.
If ever I start doubting myself, I simply say,
“One of these days, happiness shall be mine.”

Every once in a while, I can’t help but resign
myself to fate. Yet, I know I will be better the next day.
I need only keep a weather eye on the silver line.

Every blow, every bruise I receive  is just a sign
that my struggle is worth it. I will find my way.
One of these days, happiness shall be mine

There is no way to decrypt destiny’s design;
To keep from drowning, to keep the fear at bay
I need only keep a weather eye on the silver line.

What keeps me going is the belief that I will be fine.
When everything’s said and done, I will be okay.
One of these days, happiness shall be mine,
I need only keep a weather eye on the silver line.