I feel like I hurt you.
I know I didn't
but it feels like I did.
You're making yourself feel like I did
so now I do too.
You think I feel nothing for you
so you think you're nothing to me
but yet and still,
I feel like I hurt you.

It's not my fault that you forgot
that I'm a risk.
But see you "forgot"
so at one point,
you knew.
Don't act like you're in the dark.
But most importantly,
don't act like I put you there.

You won't see this.
And it wouldn't matter if you did.
After all of myself I've shown you,
you still act like you don't see.
So reading this would be pointless...
for you.
For me,
this is the barrier between
the disdain that I feel
and the "*******" that you'll hear.

I want to love you...
woman.
With everything in me.
Enough til it kills me.
I want you to be my prize.
I want it to be you woman
that I meet at the end of this road.
I want,
for you to be the "good" part.
I really want that.

But I can't love you woman.
Not now, not here.
Not yet.
If I tried,
it won't be love.
It'll be scorn.
It'll be resentment.
It'll be the cold and harsh.
It'll be the "*******"s
and "I don't care"s.
And that's one thing I enjoy the most
....caring.

It'll be everything but ***.
I can dedicate my body to yours,
be your high at day's end
with good, strong and close ***.
Give you my mouth and manhood.
Taste you until you feel delicious...
and "this" still,
wouldn't be ***.

That's not my hunt.
We make it ***
when you make it ***....woman.
You're not a little girl.
You wanted me to know that.
So don't act like one.
I know,
It's easy to forget.
You do it all the time.
But you can't forget this...woman.
You didn't give in to me,
you gave in to yourself.
You just chose me as company.

You invited me in
and I filled you with goodness
and my forsaken seed.
So now,
you feel like this story writes itself...
or atleast you hope it does.
But there you go,
playing "little girl" again.
This story didn't write itself,
these are your words on these pages.

So here I am,
stuck in a story,
that you've written for me.
Stuck,
as the pain you feel.
And even though I didn't want a story,
even though we never needed one,
Im the chapter you just can't wait to close.
You did this,
all of it.
And still I Feel Like I Hurt You.

To you, it might sound bland
In all honesty, it's rather grand!
Come see dead seabirds in the sand
Plane tickets are in high demand
For the "beautiful" country of New Zealand.

l.v.s

Everyone wants to create beauty
Too scared and disgusted to show the ugliness of this world
To paint the picture of the true gore and greed
Of the hate that the world is built on
Everyone wants to make something beautiful
Elegant
No one wants to paint with the ugly greens and brown of sickness and War that plagues the earth
No one wants to
Yet some do
Some are brave
Speak as they wish
In
Chopped
Lines
If
They
Wish
Not everyone turns a blind eye
To the ugly truthful side of life
While still being able to see the beautiful lie

There is a girl
Hairs with curls
With a million dollar smile
with guys behind in a pile

Beauty is what she was known for
The make up, the fashion, roared
Looked like a diva, yes she  did
but her soul ate her bit by bit.

One day a girl she met,
whose cheeks were rosy red,
whose eyes were with freedom,
whose synonym could be seldom.

Diva became her best chap.
and she changed her life in a snap.
Diva sensed a strange emotion,
but didn't want to lose the sensation.

Soon she was fond,
how hued girl was normal and ******.
In the crowd her hair calmed her,
and the unintentional touch opened her.

Then one day she came over.
Diva, as happy as a princess in a tower.
The time with her was ineffable.
Being with her made her unstable.

Then a second, just like an oblivion.
Diva could feel her heart stunned.
As she looked down, at the fallen attire.
All of a sudden diva felt her desire.

The Hued girl leaned and caressed her lips,
She joined in and felt her heartbeat skip.
If it went her way it would've never stopped,
If it went her way she would've already eloped.

The pure innocence grew,
as they engaged their eyes with emotions so true.
At that second, at that moment,
they found themselves and the missing element.

They found their other half,
with whom they could foully laugh.
They were the dove, high above,
They knew it was love.

but the ugly truth is no one will accept them,
but it was just an obstacle for them to overcome.
Well, they had each other,
Together they'll be irregular.

Now, Diva was someone who barely knew.
Hued girl was new like a dew
Though Their love is pretty precious,
But for them, blood suckers,it is contagious.

Let me ask you this, just tell me if im close, you said you want forever.. But time is an overdose?
You want someone to come, someone unlike the rest, you want a man to make you feel.. More than second best?
You want that guy to shower you, with affection, laughs, and memories.. You want to wake up knowing, this is where your meant to be?
You want somebody to be there, so your never alone, you want a steady partner, and together make a home?
You want a man to come, and help you bare your burdens, you say youve been hurt.. And swear to never hurt him..
You want to be romanced, hold hands and go for walks, somebody you can cuddle, a safe place for you to talk?
You want a decient lover, sweat and ecstasy in the dark.. Somebody to help you fulfill the fantasies in your heart.
Above all else though, and im guesing this is the case, you want somebody wwho wont run.. When trouble shows its face.
That person to stand beside you, as all around you crumbles, and even when the damage is done, you want that one man that wont stumble..
And as you go through life together living dreams and laughin'
Yeah well fix your make up girl cuz that disney **** never happens.

One of my most vivid memories of us is that one time we were on the phone and you told me you felt uneasy because,  your friend Morgan said that everyone changes.

She said no one ever stays the same,  and with enough time, you'll become a whole new person.

You said this to me warily, I guess I stood quiet for more than I should've because you then softly muttered "are you gonna change?"

Of course I swore I wouldn't.  And I meant it.  I really meant it when I said I wouldn't change.  WE wouldn't. It'd always be like this.
Late night talks on the phone,  exploring the universe within our own minds,  opening every door and walking in every aisle inside each other, carefully peeking into the cracks in the walls and kissing them better.  

That night you said that you loved me so much,  you felt the need to open the window and shout it at the whole world. You wanted all Paris to hear it.

If it was true love, how could it change?

Laying against you in bed felt right.  Like we had grooves and keys carved into our bodies that aligned us together perfectly, like it was supposed to be like this.

It felt like we were the lucky ones.  The lucky two that, against all the odds, found each other in the sea of hearts of the world.  

But the years went by as they do

And slowly the fire started to cool down

We memorized the way in and out of the labyrinth of our bodies.

Weirdly, the grooves and keys that snuggled us so closely together before,  didn't seem to fit all that well anymore.

We didn't realize that time had put new cracks on our walls.

Some doors were closed and others were opened. I guess We were lazy to remap the whole thing,  or maybe we didn't even notice.  

But we kept walking the same way in and out every time. It grew... Tideous.

Without me realizing, you stopped shouting your love for me to Paris.
And When I turned my head and looked behind, it seemed like it was just a faint whisper.
After that, all I could hear was the echo.

To be honest,  I was mad for a long time.  Thinking that you let everything die. That our hands didn't fit together like they used to because you didn't care to make it right.

But Lately I'm thinking that, it's not that you didn't care. It's not that I did something wrong. It's surely not a matter of true love, because it was.  
No,  we didn't let it die

We just... changed.

I guess Morgan was right.