Buried deep within teenage romance
And wit and strife and philosophical musings and --

He'd nudged my foot,
His face is a gorgeous grin over these pages.
I glance back to them.

The love interest rose up now
Handsome and beautiful
Charming, clever, humorous, and deep
(But did he have to be oh so middle class American??
And did she? Or I, first person as it is?) --

He's started to stroke my toes now,
Gently, just how I like it.
I'm not kidding when I say
"If you touch my feet I'll fall in love with you"
It's almost instantaneous.

A heroic act of selfless love:
Amsterdam snows confetti
Virginities are lost or traded or gifted
Heroes are demoted --

He kisses my head now,
My cheek, my temple
Interrupts with a story,
Hilarious I am sure
"What was that? Sorry, I'm distracted"
I giggle
Engrossed in the 'other land'

Love blooms on the wings of angels
(And all those other cliches)
He is perfect, yet flawed, as they all are.
As we all are.
They click and rebound and discuss
They laugh, they cry:
They try to fill a part of themselves with
The Other --

I glance up, spying on my own lover
His soft glance on the laptop
Beautiful lips
Gorgeous style
Our own joking, rebounding, enthused exchanges.
Our own supporting, caring, deep meaningfuls.
And I'm not jealous. Not of them. Or anyone. Not one bit.

Yet tragedy is ever present!
And our handsome and perfect lover
Is tossed into Oblivion:
Or to a Something's Somewhere --

"He's dying!" I cry to beautiful brown eyes
Framed with long wavy black.
The darkness holds amusement and affection.

Their perfect and tragic love is ever more so
For its fleeting 'forever'
Its lessened 'infinity':
Beautiful and fragile --

His arms are around me tight
Why am I affected so?
Too easily invested?
But it's not that.
The emotions are too close.
It had been described so well.
Loss.
So accurate.
And these feelings not completely healed
- But healing. Slowly.
Time heals all wounds,
But maybe some are forgotten, sealed away
This one. This one slowly eases.
Some infinities are larger than others.*
And his love surrounds me
As emotions leak from some deep place
Let out to the Universe
Hopefully to never return.

Stars

He held my hand as my head dipped into the sea of stars.

My eyes were watching the galaxies,
While my heart was watching ours.

The milky way enlightening his heart,
While his smile enlightening mine.

His laugh brighter than the little gases above.

The grass beneath our bodies,
Pulling me closer to him.

His lips meeting my forehead,
While the stars met the moon.

They must have met each other before,
Every night.
Maybe they became friends,
And soon best friends.
Maybe after a few more nights of playing hide and seek,
They decided they wanted to be more-

Just like us.

His whispers in my ear,
Making me shiver.
And the stars start to turn
Deeper into the dark night.

And your scent
As your arms wrap around me,
Making me feel warm.
The stars making the earth
Feel dark
And at home.

And while we lay down
On the grass,
I hold your hand,
Hoping to never let go
Of our little infinity.

Our infinity...

Our infinity...

Our infinity...

I love you Augustus,
With my heart entire,
It is you,
I admire,
With all my heart.

It may not seem okay,
That you left me to stay,
With my heart broken,
But as you always say,
"Maybe 'okay' will be our always,"
So will be it.
Okay.

This is our token,
For the "third" space I felt,
And hopefully I'll feel.

Tell me, Augustus Waters,
What can I do when all I can feel is loneliness?

"It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you."
-Agustus Waters
The Fault In Our Stars

I fell in love like the way you fall asleep: like getting hit by a ******* bus that knocks you out of your senses and *In that moment I swear we were infinitely in love but ******* you left me on my own. I know love and lust don't always keep the same company but I find great companionship in your eyes and I'm quite hoping you'll stick around. May the odds be ever in our favor of falling in love again in the empty house we once called mine where i'm divergent and I can only be controlled by my fears (of losing you) that send me recoiling in your arms every night; I solemnly swear that I am up to no good and I spend every second wishing you'd love me like I love you.