Maybe I don't wanna be better?
If your definition of "better" is to risk
this spark of joy and trade it
for pangs of burn and bouts of pain,
then maybe I don't wanna be better.
My darling dear,
life is already painful as it is.
Maybe I wanna surf where it wouldn't hurt?
And if being around
other hurt surfers would,
I'd very much fancy riding the waves alone,
catch a break or break down on my own,
so I wanna surf where it wouldn't hurt.
My north wind,
reality cuts deeper than reefs.
Maybe I wanna stay in the shallow?
If your depth is where I could lose myself,
yet again, and break my back,
skin and bones
and swim back to shore
or drift lifeless alone,
then maybe I just wanna stay in the shallow.
My grand sea,
love should not hurt and bleed.
I understand you now. Why you'd rather surf the smaller, shallow waves and enjoy anyway.