Three AM awake, aching with lateness
wrestling alone
even if a significant other is next to you
or little breaths flutter in next rooms

Shadow boxing ridiculous odds
in a world and heart full
of treacle thick worries
weighting your punches ineffectual
just like in the fear-fever dreams
that woke you

You skirt the maw below
resting place of your almighty failures
as the sick orange glow
breaches curtains and makes
familiar shapes judgmental
tut tut tutting at your uselessness

Here, you are defenceless

Here, the black thoughts insinuate,
find cracks to prise and plant suggestions
of a better world without you in it:
the limit of you

Dig deep, my human kin
quietly get up,
make a cup of tea,
write a message or two
to yourself, or for others later

Bide and wait
for the mute loved heaviness of sleep to return
or the welcome thinness of morning light
to wash the darkness back

In the new day, reach out,
with steady voice or bubble-snot,
be heard and seen
by friends or strangers
and try to heal again

The friend we all wanted with a smile we all need,
she was funny and loving, just a regular teen.
Black dyed hair with platform heels, nobody noticed she was missing meals.

A song in her head with a knife in her heart,
these rude little kids were tearing her apart.
"Too skinny." "Too fat." "Too this." "Too that,"
This confused little girl was getting kicked to the mat.

Teenage life is a struggle alone,
but she was being bullied and had problems at home.
We spoke up and spoke out, but the school swept it away.
A perfect reputation was bound to stay that way.

One last phone call
Then you were gone
Trying to make sense of it
But no sense came at all.
Your smile and joy
You decided to quit
however I know
it was all a decoy
Your heart was broken
you felt so low
You tried so hard
many words unspoken
I know you are watching
And keeping guard
Life is all good
like you always said
Until we meet again
Be proud of all you withstood
I’ll send my love up there instead.

Another day I struggle to reach its
     darkened end
Battling cryptic thoughts which my
     demons send
Amidst this emptiness I find myself
    withering away
Neither caring nor am I wanting to
    see another day
Depression is an uninvited friend
    that will not leave
Obstinate that it speaks only truth
    when trying to deceive
No one can be found to convince me
    it is only lies
Emptiness that surrounds me
    somehow it multiplies
Depression
                     Erases
                                 All
                                      The
                                             Hope
ChillNPsyco

Stand arboreally tall,
present a strength,
represent stability,
provide a safe place,
wide-branched sanctuary,
hold rooted principles,
speak truth to power,

til the hour you break and tumble,
your fingers thumbs
and your heart falling
numbed

senses bent, thoughts fraying,
tattered threads evasive,
the very idea of existence,
position,
self,
buckles

Far-sightedness retracts,
a fancy contra-zoom,
Hitchcockian,
eyes locked on your two feet,
tip-toes edged up
against your own precipice,
your own private void

We all feel this
sooner or later,
but its ridiculous melodrama
stills our tongues to tell,
til we’re left believing
we’re the only losers facing hell

To speak is strong,
to cry courageous,
to panic and dread next steps, next breaths,
is human

I pledge to listen, ask for the same
and beg that next time
we keep shooting the breeze
until the ledge fades

Ala una
Alas dos
Alas tres
Dilat ang mga matang
Gising na gising
May nakatingin?
Mga namumulang mata
Na umaaligid
Hindi lang sa kwarto
Pati sa panaginip,
PArang papaTAYin ka sa sakal
sa oras na pipikit,
Dadaganan ka
Sa oras na nagdidilim,
Ano ba mga ito
Hindi NAman kayo ginugulo
Wala AKOng gusto
Hindi ko kayo kailangan ngayon
Sino ba kayo
Wala akong ginawa
Gusto ko lang matulog
Ng mapayapa,
Tulong
Tulong
Tulong
Hindi ko kayang mahayo
Mga demonyong umaaligid
Ilang gabi na silang
Bumabalik
Hindi ko na kayang mapatagal
Mga nakikita
Mga nararamdaman
Mga demonyo
Baka gusto nilang
Ako nalang ang mawala?

The devil weeps for you
The angels cry with you
The harps plays a melody of your sorrow
Could this be the last verse of your ballad?
The ghosts haunting your hallways
want a place to call home too
They say a little prayer for you
But sometimes
life is just too hard to live
And sometimes
it just hurts too bad to be you
But there is light
There is life
in those skeletons in your closet
Those broken hearts are still beating
It’s not time for your swan song
There is solace in your sadness
with the honesty of your lyrics
There is heaven devoid of religion
Sing and they may just listen
Someone wants to hear your song
Say something
Someone else is singing the same tune  
Listen to it
There is beauty
Look closer

- Keep going