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Zeena Miedema Apr 2020
I'm breaking like glass in my eyes.
Red painful barriers and flickering sight.
How much longer till my body will have dry bones?
Zombie walking, alien clown.
I'm still travelling.

I can't push myself through the pressure.
If I do, I will definetely break my eye.
So I stay up staring.
Maybe I will just float away.
I'll pray for it as I push my fist against my chest.
Gently touching the parts that are still intact.
Hoping it will be worth it.
Let's stay in this trance.

Let's walk
Let's float.
I will go on and find you.
And everything else will find me.
Cause it has to push deep inside.
Tear me open.
22-03-20
Zeena Miedema Apr 2020
You still miss her so much.
I feel it when I touch the keys of your laptop.
Wet from your teardrop.
Last night there was a birthday party.
For a boy that was a zombie.
He didn't exist, only his mother.
In a ghost home like no other.
Dark and brown.
In a ghost town.
I watched them from very far away.
I watched a mother and child that used to play.
You'll find ways.
You'll find ways and people and days.
It will be so hard, impossible and too much.
Like trying to sleep when there's nothing that feels right for your body to touch.
And it all falls apart again.
And you have to start again and again.
Always with too many things happening.
And no certainty and the world spinning.
On and and on.
How to go on? How to hold on?
Falling backwards again into the storm.
Uncomfortable and cold in every form.
The calm before and after the hit.
And the loving inside surrounding it...
You just hold me when everything falls.
When the siren calls...
19-01-20
Zeena Miedema Apr 2020
I'm nowhere, I just want you to hold me and not move.
You don't have to try anything, you got nothing to prove.

When I walk I got a thousand question marks rising above my head.
Why am I still not dead?

I'm nowhere but I see a world in your stare.
Nowhere.

I'm still here and I think it's not fair.
It feels wrong.
I'm nowhere.
I'm really nowhere.
I'm really not there.

Looking around here, a new phase.
Again?!
A new looking face.
Where did my mind go when it ran?
Nowhere.
Only there where it can.

Nowhere and I see you there.
I'm still nowhere.
I will be around
When I'm found.

Look around.
Looking around new face and body.
I just want you to hold me.
You don't have to move.
I'm nowhere, what have I got to prove?

Nothing, I should know by now in this nowhere.
Nothing to prove, not a single care.
In the middle and stuck in everywhere.
14-09-19 @Harmen's
Zeena Miedema Apr 2020
My name is Sora Sore.
I can't take it anymore.
My eyes are drowning deep.
I couldn't get no sleep.
My neck is in a knot.
And it hurts a lot.

I'm too messed up like my mattress.
But I can play a role, I'm an actress.
And I like it, it's not an act when I'm in it.
Especially when I sing it.

But it burns on my head.
Every day and night in bed.
I've been hanging around like a zombie.
A living dead combi.
I can't take it no more.
I am Sora and I am so so so sore.

Wearing my body.
Wearing it out completely.
I carry it to my grave.
Tossing it through another wave.

Please don't judge me for getting affected.
For being on this earth but not really connected.
Laying inbetween too worlds and painful sensations.
The creatures poking at my skin, the latest manifestations.

The earth can have my body back.
I'm am Sora and I crack.
I'm a zombie.
A living dead combi.

I'm ok.
Just another day.
I'm Sora Sore.
Just a little bit more.
Sora Sore.
Until I'm not there no more.
15-04-19
Zeena Miedema Apr 2020
I went on my bike following the red thread.
Just like every other day, the one thing I ever had.
And so I went and the water next to me got so wavy.
And so dark, darker than darkest blue navy.

It won't cover me here cause there's no burning suffering.
When the red thread is covering my skin.
I can just keep on cycling.
Always singing.
About how I won't be ok.
It's not alright and it can never be fine.
Still this moment is always mine following the red line.

I went on my bike cycling and singing.
That is always ok.
So the burning will finally stop stinging.
Like every single day.
05-03-19
Zeena Miedema Apr 2020
Dead on demand wil be the name of my band.
When I'm reborn and my friends are too.
A different universe where our dreams come true.
Not like in here.
Where every phone call is bad news that you don't want to hear.

We will be free because we went through hell in here first.
We know not to be too ecstatic cause we'd known the thirst.
When everything goes right we know what every type of wrong feels like.
Everything will be completely turned upside down and ruled by music and magic.
Love is rather ecstatic.

In here it's dark when I wake and all the people are separated.
In their own space dealing with their own pain.
Dead on demand is something that could never really be honorated.
***, it's gone on too long! Learning from every disaster but disaster will always remain!

We will be free!
Dead on demand flying to the colourful sea.
Reborn with your friend.
Dead on demand will be the name of my band!
It will never be like it is in here.
Where every phone call is bad news that you don't want to hear.

We will be free because we went through hell in here first.
We know not to be too ecstatic cause we'd known the thirst.
When everything goes right we know what every type of wrong feels like.
Everything will be completely turned upside down and ruled by music and magic.

Love is rather ecstatic.
Love is rather right.
Love is a feeling like you never felt before.
Love is rather ecstatic.
Love is better than magic!
03-04-20
Zeena Miedema Apr 2020
Soul covered in darkness.
Face covered in make up.
Sound won't come through.
Hollow demon.

The cry is far away.
Sometimes calling on the Phone it's near.
But there's nothing I can do.
It all went too far.
Still as far as it had to.

Soul covered in a harness.
Face covered up with dirt.
Sound is an awful hellish scream.
Hollow world.

Maybe I don't know what I see.
Maybe.
Maybe I don't know what I see.

I feel something familiar.
Stronger than ever.
When it's really nescessary I don't feel you.

But my soul is covered.
My face is aged.
Not as old as my soul.
Hollow dark spot.

All my life I learned that I learned and that they learned and we learned so much!
Now it's too much!

I feel that it's just unfair.
Stronger than ever.
Maybe it's always gonna be unfair.
04-04-20
Zeena Miedema Apr 2020
You a rare piece of the galaxy.
A little too far out of reach for me.
They say: Don't lose diamonds while collecting stones.
Find the right energy that you can feel through skin and bones.
Or just one that fits.
Or a hard rock that hits.
Escaping from an explosion.
A big bang or an emotion.
You are a meteorite.
I watch you shining so bright.
And I feel your perfect energy.
But you are a little too far out of reach for me.
Please come collect me.
One day take me away to your world and little galaxy.
I'm an alien lost in space.
With an alien body and face.
And I'm finding the energy that feels right.
When you hit me like a meteorite.
Where do I go from the black hole?
Where do I float through with my alien soul?
Take me home to my destiny.
Take me home to my galaxy.
14-02-20
Zeena Miedema Apr 2020
Things are just a thing sometimes.
Going through phases in this life.
The stars and planets are planners.
They tell you something if you listen carefully.

There have always been things carefully set up to push you in the right direction.
You have to follow, there's no other way.
Your path is so magical or so extremely horrifically hard.
But it's yours and yours only.

Embrace the light you see in front of you.
You can walk to it.
It's alright, it'll lead you home.
Embrace it cause it will happen and you will be save.
But oh what a journey and oh the things you must give, I know!

Things are just a thing sometimes.
Going through phases in this life.
The end phase is the hardest when you have to end it yourself.
You went through a part of the old times before they changed.
They changed for the better.

You helped in the change but you had to go through it.
The pain and the battle.
Embrace it cause it will always happen and you will be save.
But oh what a journey and oh the things you must give, I know!
17-04-20
Zeena Miedema Apr 2020
Longing for a pureness.
Longing for white hair.
Longing for oblivion to harm just being wandering.
In a valley in a grey dress.

Maybe there's a dimension where people can see what each other's souls have been through.
And everything is just right for all their souls to heal.

I'd be called Isdal, waiting for the ones I loved most in my past lives to come and find me.
And we already know each other and we know we already know.

Looking at the past it all feels very dark.
Looking at the future it's also very dark.
Being in the present it's just ok, I guess.
Just for now.

Always trying to run harder than it's raining.
Trying not to get hit by the drops too hard.
Or just trying to accept you will get soaking wet and sing along...

Oh I'm longing for a pureness.
Longing for white hair.
Longing for oblivion to harm just being wandering.
In a valley in a grey dress.

Will I find it when I leave?
And will you find me?
I'll be waiting.
As I'm waiting here now too.
28-04-20
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