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nadine shane Jul 2018
a distinct feature
in my appearance
would be
the bags under my eyes;

i remember staying up
until my bones quiver
under the bewitching spells
of the moon’s forgotten raving sonatas,
enticing enough to cradle
an iota of dejected sentiments
from centuries and centuries ago.

i remember looking up
at the night sky
until my eyes flicker from dust to ashes,
burning the crevices of every wall i built,
graveyards broken down
to match the unmatched
bleakness of the ignominious sorrow
peeking out of the corner of your soles.

i remember laying down,
not once had silence became overbearing
that i could hear the faintest brush
of a weightless feather falling
from a tainted nest,
aching to meet its pernicious lover.

i remember closing my eyes,
shifting everything elsewhere;
still, i dread the feeling of compunction
emerging deep from
the landmines of mistakes
that i had claimed as my home
and my shelter.

but this, i could never forget:
i remember
being envious of you;
how you do not
lay awake at night,
wondering if things
could have been better.
i still love you (always)
nadine shane Jul 2018
recurrent moonlit distractions
captured by words
tied down into morsels;
separated and concealed,
contiguous yet sheer greetings
of each other’s skin
had left wanton burns
and gushing streams
of a brooding lover’s propensity
for unsusceptible matters of the heart.

there, he stood,
on the precipice of tomorrows;
ruminating and scrupulous,
forlorn yet never dithering
over mundane and quintessential quandaries
of the tepid gloss of incertitude
dangling off syllables
dictated by sordid agony.

there, he stood,
in the midst of everything;
from the otiose adoration
poured out of empty caskets
to the lenitive shades of his eyes.

with the ripples of moonlight,
the gestalt of doleful flower-like hearts,
there, she stood,
and waited.
and waited some more.

(did you like this poem, tof?)
nadine shane Jul 2018
we were contained in an ellipsis,
desperately aching for
delicate strings of words
uttered by ghastly and shallow mouths.

  we were contained in an ellipsis,
the silence
cradled the proximity
of the entangled messes
of our universe.

this was us.

this was our ellipsis,
it never seemed to end.
silence.
nadine shane May 2018
i woke up next to you again,
red wine lips
slightly parted,
a contented sigh
escaping out
of crushed cherries.

the night is still young,
you had said,
a lopsided grin
crawling its way
to your sinful mouth
speaking in dead languages.

( do not lie to me, darling )

i woke up next to you again,
eyebrows furrowed,
small hands traveled to mine,
soft whilst never unwavering.

you begged me to stay,
never letting go of the
edges of my shirt.
insides stirred,
i watched you in awe
as you pat the spot
next to you.

( just this once, i let you do as you please )

i woke up next to you again,
gaze already set
on my visage.
a lazy smile and a kiss
greeting me.

this was love,
you had thought
but you were
wrong.

( tonight will be the last, mi amor)

i woke up next to you again,
clothes tattered and torn,
lifeless eyes greeting me,
sheets splotched
with regret and blood.

grief and love
are no such thing.
prey  and a predator
nadine shane Mar 2018
i can be whatever
you want me
to be,

i can be the waves
crashing down
to the shores
to find solitude
in your arms,
aching to seek everything
i can never truly have;

i can be the treacherous current,
sweeping you away
from the palms
of pandora's box,
reaching out
to lay their mouths
( shut / stitched / knitted )
filled with tribulation.

i can fold myself
into neat edges,
abandoning every ghost town
i conquered
and called mine,
every window sill
attached with symbiosis
and laced with piles of
'sorry' and 'forgive me.'

i can be metaphors
clinging around every part of you,
wishing to be liberated
from reveries
accompanied with memories
of how you held me
with qualmy and shivering hands.

so tell me
because
i can be
whatever you
want me to be.
so please dont leave me again
nadine shane Feb 2018
this is
fiction
and nothing else.

you and me,
twisted by pretty words
with senseless meaning.

laying down,
restless nights,
tranquil walks
with sober souls.

holding your hand,
a four leaf clover
stretched onto yours,
you kissed mine.

waiting for the howl
of misfortunes,
i clung onto
your kaleidoscopic smile,
you stayed.

but,
time and time again,
this is fiction
and nothing else.
don't let it fool you, i've been there.
nadine shane Feb 2018
how foolish of me
to think
late night conversations
could lead to
a sterling amount of love
cascading through me

but all it ever left
was a gaping hole,
stretching itself beyond
to greet the bane's den.

the neverending loop;

stuck-up little poet
thinking it would be
different,
poor little heart;
it had suffered enough,
let it rest.

little girl calling herself
a poet would like to know
what to do
with these memories
of warmth
from her
sun-kissed hand.

« no, no »

how stubborn of me
thinking
i could no longer be
time's fool.
im sorry. i love you.
nadine shane Feb 2018
to love only from afar
is a matter of hearts
begging to touch the other,
clad in drops of daylight,
mysteries of the night
as it calls upon
the dreary apparitions.

reaching out to grasp
nothing but the cold breeze,
the chimes of the forgotten fossils
of how we could have been.

you craft harmony
and rhapsody
with the way
you immesh your hands
with dust from the stars,
scraping against the sky.

this is poetry;
in its entirety,
soft and weak,
accepting as it goes;
made by the sound
of a blemished
and careworn heart
from heartbreak.

this is the
"could've"
this is for you.
nadine shane Feb 2018
the melted horizon
climbed upon your starry eyes,
i want nothing more than
being greeted
by your heavenly structures.

“from this moment,”
from the gentle breeze
of four a.m.,
your arms around me
never letting go,
the soft humming of your breath
against every little secret
that i had made.

“to this point in time,”
heated arguments,
saturnine interims,
moments i wish
i could take back.
(take it, take it all back)
nadine shane Jan 2018
maybe this is
all just a film.

an indie film
starring troubled teenage girls
finding out who they truly are;

a horror film
starring an ex-convict
being haunted by
his petrifying past;

a romance film
with cringy punchlines,
sly glances in the hallways,
passing notes during sessions,
a wink or a two.

this,
what we had,
was no more than
a documentary.

the brusque strokes of color
writing the art of detaching one's heart
in a single streak,
overwritten by harsh
and rash decisions,
regret bursting
through the air,
the feeling of being torn apart
by the swaying wind,
whispering,

the curtains
finally closed.
a bittersweet moment.
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