of us.
a gentle twist
collision
repair
fury and fondling
entwine
you can wear me
i'm a sweet lil thing

i don't care what you bruise
i don't care what i lose
(i'll let you take anything)
fierce creature
tenderly, now
save the wrecking for later
..but don't wait too long

a tickle and a tease
a build up and release
of what I speak, of course, is a sneeze

I got engaged this winter.
Yeah, in vegas!
I've already started planning.
Spring wedding. A-line strapless sweetheart dress. Tanning!
Eggshell with dark blue accents.
Wildflowers and wedding showers?!


No.


Not everyone that gets engaged is Susie homemaker in rage mode.
Oh, here we go. I know
What you're thinking.
"She's only 22, she's in college, she's too young."
Please, save your pity.
I am most assuredly doing me.
I'm so tired of these stereotypes.
Giving engagements all this negative hype.
I see it all the time.
I'm also 22.
No, Taylor swift, not like you.
I'm doing it differently.
My life is also a party.
But
I too am living, only, my way.
I did get engaged.
And guess what, life's not over.
Not shortened, not stunted, not a bore.
I just don't feel the need to get trashed and go *****
Around.
Stereotypically college-like, of course.
You're problem is you think it's old fashioned.
Engaged?
"Oh, **** forget about passion."
It's trendy to think that.
Well, you don't know jack.
I haven't changed a wink.
I don't stand at the kitchen sink,
And cook. Or clean.
I do those things. But I'm OCD.
I'm not going to stop being me.
And a real man doesn't expect that.
This ring, and after,
He's still the same,
Our existence is full of laughter.
It's not sexist to fall in love.
It's sexist to think it is.
It's ******* you judge me for being.
The only difference in my life?
Is he shares my strife.
I'm sprung.
It's not old fashioned to get engaged young.
It's old fashioned to think engagements are like they used to be.
I have a permanent drinking buddy.
And we do drugs.
We share hugs.
And we have ***. A lot.
With video games in between.
Nope, when the ring came out that didn't stop.
This ring is not a ball and chain,
And that's what's wrong with your brain.
You think it's all about him?
I have to live my life on his whim?
I have to check my phone and "he better answer me," 24/7 of quality,
Time.
Nope, that's just you and your ex.
My guy, he expects
Nothing new.
Do I look like a house wife?
The last thing this has done is ruin my life.
I'm in school, I have a job, I have a goal.
I'm not playing some tired old role.
And my life rules because he supports it.
What are you ******* at me for? I don't owe you ****.
Much less an explanation.
Can I live?
He's got the world to give.
And I'm taking that,
On top of everything else I've got going.
And my momentum's not slowing
Because I experienced something beautiful in front of the Nike of Samothrace at Caesar's Palace.
The difference between you and me
Isn't that you're more free.
I've got someone who wouldn't change me and who doesn't want me tamed.
Have you EVER been able to say the same?
But... maybe you all disagree.
Maybe now I don't really know me.
I only know one thing,
And that's that I'm happy.

I'm afraid.
I'm a daylight dreamer.
Everything scares me.
Everything is so ******* intense.

I wish i was more like a stone.
I'm always alert

The silence is claustrophobic
I see everything with four eyes
The ones in my face and the ones in my chest
I'm sensitive

But i got to pretend i'm not.
People think i'm the exponent of manly.
Classify me as "cold".
But i cry, alone

I melt the ice
into tears and trade them for my fears.
Just because i'm big
It doesn't mean i'm strong

"Dear Austin Heath:

Thank you for sending “Poems by Austin Heath.” Your work received careful consideration here.

We’ve decided this manuscript isn’t right for us, but we wish you luck placing it elsewhere.

Kind regards,

The Editors”


Dear editors;

I’ve carefully considered your disposal of my material

and found it troubles me not. Whether you accept these

confessions or not, they’re still hand written on the liver

of every drinker from Cleveland to Ithaca and back.

Thanks for nothing,

Austin Heath.

"Wonderer, worshipper, lover of leaving -
It does not matter.
Ours is not a caravan of despair.
Come,
Even if you have broken your vow a thousand times.
Come, yet again, come."
-Rumi

Lover of Leaving.
I wonder where that comes from.
Abandoning ideas,
or the idea of abandoning people.