Through a window I was caught off guard.
I shuttered. Pulling the ***** of my collar against my neck.
I found myself standing still. Chill bumps forming against my skin.
The way she appeared dividing herself all around me.
Disappearing into the ***** of my collar searching the folds of my face.
She despised the way I smoked. Blowing my lighter out each chance she got.
She filled my hands, chasing away all of my bad habits.
Finding a better means to occupy my time.
The impact she left behind

I loved the way she looked at me.
Even if it was for a brief second, I would always stop what I was doing.
She had a knack for making me forget the simplest of things.
Often times making me stand outside of myself.


She looked at me.
And I was in a full length feature movie.
Surrounded by a bunch of characters before the plot shifts to us.
I'd watch as her pupils dilate.
The way her conversation changed from the way I heard her previously.
Before bumping into me.

 
She'd look at me but wouldn't  see me at all.
She'd see that I had a bit going for myself.
That I had a good head on my shoulders.
That nine times out of ten, I would stop if she seemed like she was in distress.
With so much going on it's hard to tell what's real from fake.

 
Frankly, I didn't mind it.
The way she looked at me.
It's been a while since I've seen myself in eyes that large.
It appeared that I was in a movie the way we met.
The way our conversation would last for hours.

 
Whenever she would speak it made it that much easier to forget that she didn't see me at all.
Honestly I haven't seen me in a long time.
The way that I use to be.

And when she began to speak
I opened her mouth just wide enough to look inside.
Stretching her mouth as wide as I could get it without causing pain.
I looked around directing her head in the light.
Highlighting everything I couldn't see.
And when I let go she asked what all of that was for.
With rose eyebrows I replied the person I met a couple of years ago

Only in my mind does she meet me as the sun kisses the sky.
In reality I'm just the guy she passes by. Her head lost in the clouds.
Paper separated from pen, public school education.
Only in my mind do we attend each others graduation,
Maintain the steady marriage of attendance. The time taken to grade each other's paper.
Study sessions that involve single spaced outlines. Algebraic equations.
An organic remedy that highlights not just inspiration but more sessions soon to follow.
In reality the classroom is actually empty and I am somewhere daydreaming.
Head lost in the clouds

In the midst of talking to my friend girl.
She mentioned that she's been waking up in the middle of the night.
Cold, unable to go back to sleep.
We talked for a while longer, being our normal silly selves.
Then she asked a not so unusual question but unusual question.
She asked if she could borrow my heart, that she sought somewhere warm, comfortable.
That here lately she hasn't been able to find such a place.
Without hesitation I gave it to her. The blurred line of going through such lengths expecting the same sincerity to be returned.
Ensuring that she would at least get a good night's sleep if nothing else hoping to put her mind at ease.
We went for days, months even without so much as a single word being said.
Given the things she'd normally go through it was quite understandable.
What ever was mine I would have given until I found myself waking up later and later night after night.
My dreams no longer existent. Without realizing I found myself in the same predicament.
In search of a peace of mind.
It wasn't until she appeared out of the blue.
It put my mind at ease to see her happy, fruitful.
We talked for a while.
Laughing about everything that went on while separated from each other.
But when the topic of sleep came up I asked about my heart.
I noticed a brief hesitation.
Choosing to confess without saying too much, she gave my heart back.
Worn. No longer able to fit where it once came.
When asked what happened she turned her attention to someone else.
Seeking the same affection

Once upon a time
There once lived a swine.
He loved to travel.
Unraveling himself in solemn novel.
Along with a apple.
He'd often babble.
With a book won from raffle,
He'd stand bowleg and baffled.
He'd often tattle
Not meaning to ramble.
Standing bowleg and baffled.
His face a smooth red cackle.
The look on his face outdone.
The zipper on his pants came undone.
Far from the favorite son
Those whom seen would make fun.
Of a swine whom despised bacon kind.
Losing peace of mind.
He soon became unkind.
Confined by bacon kind.
He'd straighten a leather belt
Soon a hand seldom dealt.
Soon a bag of rind.
Some kind of stew, cordon bleu.
With much displeasure.
Read the obituary.
And to think its almost February

Back then, I didn't understand what you said,
"You are thinking, instead of feeling"
"Woah that was deep", I answered back

And to be honest, until now
I'm still confused

lost n thirsty
i stood in faith

wings of  falcon flapped
a ride to never-land
i was told

into da luminous vicinity
n absolute nothin
blind n jade
i looked for you
and all I had was your whim

---the egotist.

We didn't get along the first time we met , I was intimidated that there was an electric shock with in us.

I don't remember how but we got close to each other that we slept together that night .

We exchanged numbers and we had late night calls, non - sense / stupid conversation that our mums wouldn't like.

Things got serious between us , see we ain't a thing but we held each others hand like you were mine and I was yours.

Your hugs would stop the world around us and it would feel like its just the two of us .

Months passed

I confessed to you what I felt and you accepted it, but  you didn't tell me that you liked me back.

I was hurt.

Years  and Months passed

I still remember our conversations and the late night calls . I can't help myself smiling like an idiot just when I try to reminisce all those happy memories we made.

My heart aches because I am yours and you are not mine.

we got tricked by time and fate.