My communication skills are as bad as my handwriting is.
But my kisses are as good as my intentions, so you can go ahead and place your smile onto my lips.
Too often the pronunciation of your name is mistaken for Keanu Reeves’ character in The Matrix.
I dug my own grave right after the masquerade, but when you came along, I swear everything had changed.
I tossed the shovel to the ground and began searching for better days in a city where we both wanted to safe and sound.
We shared our first kiss over pizza, a bottle of red wine and sporadic bursts of love and laughter.
I may have lost your love, but I haven’t lost all the wonderful words I still have to write about love.
In the beginning, I always hoped that this love would have a happy ending.
But it only ended in me writing poems about how we both lost out on this wonderful love.

15 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

I took the bus from the CBD all the way to Hatfield just to free my mind and receive closure from you.
Let’s vibe out and listen to our favourite songs by Drake and reminisce about the love that we’ll never get back.
How long can I keep holding on when all this pain becomes a reflection of everything that’s bound to go wrong?
Was I not deserving of the kind of love and happiness that I had consistently given to you?
I yearn for a reality worth dreaming about, but lately my heart has been paralysed by doubt.
Time is expensive like a Richard Mille watch but every minute I spent with you was worth it.
When my blue skies fade to grey, I listen to songs by The Weeknd and reminisce about you every single day.
I took the bus from the CBD all the way to Hatfield just to free my mind and receive closure from you.
Now I spend my days listening to sad songs while reminiscing about the love that I’ll never get back.
These words are proof that I’m still recovering from the heartbreak I once felt a while ago in Hatfield.

12 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

I just wanted to create a few unforgettable memories.
Every night we mixed *****, love, ***, **** and Hennessy.
After all this time, I do not know why I am still longing for you.
Even after all the painful and senseless **** you put me through.
I turned my pain into poetry and I haven’t looked back ever since.
I wish you’d never ask about my love life because I could never love or be loved right.

After all this time, I do not know why I am still longing for you.
Even after all the painful and stressful **** you put me through.
I remember you from your beautiful brown eyes down to the empty promises you cursed me with.
I was a lost boy in my youth and I spent most of my precious time blowing smoke in my room.
I hope you have found a way to finally stop smoking cigarettes and drinking ***** like there’s a message in the bottle.
I hope you have finally found peace, love and happiness in this wonderful city called Pretoria.
Everyone in your life changed but I didn’t, I guess you were wrong about me.
It’s June now so while you find comfort in your complacency just know that I’ll be leaving soon.

11 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

We made passionate love during that one autumn night in Pretoria.
Our relationship had its flaws but we always got high off the euphoria.
Somehow the best part of me was always you, but you’re gone now and I’m always feeling blue.
It was a Friday night on April 1st, I guess I was a fool for falling for you and believing all you said was true.
You may have forgotten me ever since I’ve been away but I waited on you for too many days since February.
Why did you settle for a takeaway when you knew you would’ve had the world on a silver platter?
Now that you’ve left, I realised how you were right when you said that I deserve someone better.
But where is this “better” that you constantly spoke about days before you broke up with me?
I cannot seem to find it; I even went back to Hatfield several months ago to see if I had missed something.
I have been MIA on love ever since you’ve been away; I waited on you for too many days since February.
Or maybe it was May, but you don’t care and I don’t remember because maybe it doesn’t matter anyway.
Or anymore and lately I’ve been zoning out to Paramore and getting high off paper planes than ever before.
Somehow the best part of me was always you, but you’re gone now and I’m always feeling blue.
I guess I was a fool for falling for you and believing all you said was true.

10 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

You and I are in the same space, but we live in different galaxies.
That’s why we could never get along for extensive periods of time.
After several glasses of wine, I realised that you talk more than I do.
Maybe sometimes pain hurts more when we always choose to ignore it.
I can love you better than him; from eight until late he always calls his ex-girlfriend Kim.
I wonder what you get up to when he’s not there; I wonder what you really know about him.
I never knew that my loving heart could get played like harps and violins do.
The symphony is exquisite, but the pain and the heartbreak are obviously not.
I wonder what you know about everything happening around you while you wander away from me.
I gave you exclusive views to breathtaking galaxies, but you still needed more space like the astronaut lady.
I have fallen in love with my own solitude, but loneliness has taken over every single part of my life.
I’m scared to see who or what I have left behind; these Hatfield streets have become so nostalgic.

9 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

Find me somewhere between old and cliché Tumblr poems and filtered Instagram pictures.
It was just yesterday when we were worlds apart when your ex-boyfriend broke your loving heart.
You eventually began smoking again and drank wine and ***** like there was a message in the bottle.
But I can’t judge you for all the things that you did because I was right there by your side comforting you.
I took an Uber from the CBD all the way to Hatfield just to find peace of mind and get some closure from you.
All this time I have been hoarding the memories we made like there is a black hole I’m trying to fill.
I wonder if I’ll ever be good enough in the eyes of the people who never appreciated my love.
Within your circle of friends someone knew that you were falling in love with someone new.
But you kept me waiting all this time just so you could let me down like gravity.
I should have realised this a long time ago that pain hurts more when you choose to ignore it.
If only it was so easy to let you go then I would’ve done that a long time ago.
I wanted you to fill my emptiness with requited love but I realised that you were a void too.

4 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

I had you constantly coming down a few minutes after breaking down.
In the presence of clumsy hands, fragile hearts break like porcelain does.
It is summer time somewhere but it is currently autumn right here in Pretoria.
Sometimes I wish that you’d never ask about my love life because I could never love or be loved right.
Love is the highest vibration and that’s why I always feel tremors every time I step out of my comfort zone.
You remind me of the month of August, you always remind me of the calmness of the colour blue.
Like a painter admiring the presence of his exquisite muse, I can’t stop looking at every colour of you.
Love is the highest vibration and that’s why I always feel tremors every time I step out of my comfort zone.
We cannot survive in the world with all these secrets that we have if all that we have is a lie.
Love is the result of all the vibrations of tremors that shook a long time ago.

1 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

You left me hanging like Da Vinci’s paintings on the walls of the Louvre.
But I could never manage to transform my heartbreak into a masterpiece.
I need good wine, good friends and music by Solange, Emeli Sandé and Floetry.
I need to know that love and freedom are in my life even when there’s pain and heartbreak in my eyes.
I took the bus from the CBD all the way to Hatfield just to free my mind and get some loving from you.
Let’s listen to our favourite songs while we reminisce about the love and happiness that we’ll never get back.
Happiness is an elusive feeling and I have been numb to it for some time now.
You know how depression, loneliness and heartbreak fit me well like a glove.
It has been a while since I’ve heard from you, too many days since February.
Too many days since I’ve been patiently waiting so I had to give up eventually.
I took the bus from the CBD all the way to Hatfield just to see you every Wednesday morning.
Every Wednesday morning, I was mourning the deaths of loved ones by celebrating the gift of life.
Too many days since February, I’ve been waiting for you to come and find me.
No amount of morphine could ever ease my pain, I am just trying to feel and find love again.
I took an Uber from the CBD all the way to Hatfield just to free my mind and get some loving from you.
Let’s listen to our favourite songs while we reminisce about the love and happiness that we’ll never get back.

I’ll be gone by the time you read this, I loved you but you couldn’t see it.
Break my heart and slowly slit my wrists before this love ever tries to **** me.
This is the part where the story begins or maybe where the beginning ends.
We traded in our lives for religion, this is a sinner’s redemption and you’ve been flying kites like Amir.
Did I not deserve the kind of love and happiness that I have been consistently writing about?
I yearn for a reality worth dreaming about, but lately my heart has been paralysed by doubt.
Time is expensive like a Richard Mille watch but every minute I spent with you was worth it.
It hurts me to say, that no matter what you say or do, I’ll always be by your side pulling you through.
I’ve been feeling hollow, I’ve been feeling pain while trying to let go of memories of the past.
I’ve realised that reality is not as beautiful as it seems as soon as the sun set on the horizon of my dreams.
You settled for a takeaway when you could’ve had the world on a silver platter.
Now that you’ve left, I realised how you were right when you said that I deserve better.
But I’m uncertain of how to feel about the heartbreak I once felt a while ago in Hatfield.

I’ve been MIA since you’ve been away; I keep walking around with my head in the clouds and getting high off paper planes.
Give me a pen and a notepad and allow me to document all the unforgettable memories we should’ve shared.
All the memories we should’ve shared never came to fruition because half the time you hardly cared.
It has been a while since I’ve heard from you, too many days since February.
Too many days since I’ve been patiently waiting so I had to give up eventually.
You had me under the impression that you actually gave a **** about me.
You gave me the impression that you cared about what we shared, but half the time you were never there.
I’ve been feeling hollow like the men T.S. Eliot wrote about, I’ve been feeling pain just to hold on.
But how long can I keep holding on when all this pain and depression is gradually affecting me?
How long can I keep holding on when all this pain becomes an indication of everything that’s bound to go wrong?
All the memories we should’ve created never came to fruition because half the time you were never there.
It has been a while since I’ve heard from you, too many days since February.
Too many days since I’ve been patiently waiting so I had to give up eventually.
How long can I keep holding on when all this depression becomes a reflection of everything that’s bound to go wrong?
I keep walking around Pretoria with my head in the clouds while getting high off paper planes with my feet on the ground.