My chaotic soul, that war it seize,
It craves just to end with peace.
A heart so soft, yet full of anarchy,
Mind of a wise, but loves insanity.
Will there be someone like me?
A soldier who fights as it please.

I long to be remembered, by great wisdom,
Sharing my story, a tale of freedom.
A soldier who fights with army dreamers,
Whom I guided, making them believers.
How truly beautiful can it all be?
To come back and see, my beautiful history.

Telling a joke in the midst of raging chaos,
Ha! My smile stands strong as it cross.
Humor, that brings joy in catastrophe,
This is what I am, my life's symphony.
I've become the best of my true self,
And I hope that my story can be your help.

Some people exist some live, I rot.

She said,
"I'm looking for someone,
Looking for something."
I asked,
"What is it?"
She replied,
"I can't exactly remember."
I questioned,
"How will you know you've found it?"
She said,
"It's something one can't forget,
Someone never forgotten."
I asked further,
"Well, who is it?"
She said,
"I don't really know,
But I think I've seen them before.
There's an image in my head
And an idea in my mind,
They feel innate to me."
"Are they, though?"
She didn't answer,
"I think if I just do
As my parents have done
And their parents have done,
I'll be all the closer."
I just shook my head and laughed.
"Sorry, I'm not laughing at you.
I just find it funny.
You say you're searching
For something or someone,
And you only have the slightest idea
Of what that is."
"I know, it's a bit silly."
"Why, they could be
Talking to you right now
And you would never know it then!"
"Maybe, maybe not.
I'd like to think
I would recognize it, recognize them."
"Well, you don't think
You're special do you?"
"No more so than anyone else."
"So, how would you know?"
"I guess I just believe,
I have faith in that
Hope shall deliver me.
I try my hardest
To be the best I can be,
I always try to be honest
And act respectfully.
I love with all my heart
And shelter it from nobody."

"Ah, but do you reach?
Do you search your mind
As much as the tangible world?
Perhaps what you're looking for
Can't be found
Without exploring within first.
Perhaps this is the only place
It exists.
Maybe it is a mystery
Confused with fantasy,
Maybe it is a fantasy
Confused with mystery.
Perhaps it can
Only be discovered
By any one individual.
Maybe by elusion,
Made by illusion.
Perhaps it is,
Perhaps it isn't,
Maybe you're just not worthy.
Perhaps you've already eclipsed it."
I had said.
"I'm looking for someone,
Looking for something."
I said.

"What is it?"
She said.
"It's something one can't forget,
Someone never forgotten."
I said.
"Yes, but who remembers?
And what memories?"
She said.
"It's something that can't be held,
But something one must hold.
It's something that can't be told,
But something one must tell.
It's like the melody of a song,
Like the lyrics sung.
It is only as old
As it is young."
I said.
"What is it?"
She said.

"What is it?"

When one self-medicates,
Sometimes they grab the nostrum
Rather than the cataplasm.
Trying to clean the well, they mistake belladonna for myristica.
Perhaps it was the region or the season,
Maybe the water table atop which they were building.
Were it a town,
Perhaps its citizen lacked hygiene
Or had no care to maintain things.
Maybe they sparsely talked things over
And thought little of one another.
Of the many circumstances,
It could've been the building materials
Or the architects.
The dictates we lay out
For ourselves and those around us
Rarely are truly followed
In the case of relations between each other,
And typically less so
In the case of the larger world.

To find yourself,
You must fall into yourself.
For others, a hard landing is due,
But what you'll find is nothing new.

I fall down, an endless pit,
A spiral deep, where shadows sit.

The sun sets and rises the very same way
the moon shines and fades the darkness away
humans lies and lies in a very upright way
nature digests it all with the smell of clay
realism was the truth of the earth's way
these meagre liars lies and dances on play
their soul is ***** and gets the deserved slay
The Almighty gave us realism as the only way
to live, to see, to speak and keep these away
i too have jumped into this but now gave away
living with lakes, forest and morning prayers spray
being truthful to the soul is the only way
life has become beautiful, blissful of a tray
green has been added, what removed has been grey

one walks, eats, sees things and their offspring
deals with what has to be done and sharply blunt
the broken vacuum cleaner, making the dinner
writing orders to mabel, washing, bookbinding and reading the novel
then one chase the freedom, that too out of boredom
one moves and moves away, to smell the loneliness clay
sitting there by a lake, one lights up the flame
one wanders with stillness, even darker than the darkness
they just left me here, now i have to go where
the water flows, sun rises and comes the morning surprises
one cooks the morning meal to **** the hunger ordeal
Lahsa was one's choice, one eats and rejoice
kissing the green grass, one adores nature's class
holding compass in one's hand, one sees the forest grand
peace was one all needed, happiness only one greed
outward stress all burned, one peacefully returned