Every day, her smile greets me
as she enters the house after work.
Every day, she talks to me
until her mouth runs dry.
Every day, I walk by her side,
stopping only to smell the roses.
Every day, I follow her around,
waiting for her next command.
Every day, I put the light in her eyes
and the smile on her face.
Oh, how great it is to be a dog.

Chicken tenders and chicken wings,
I love all those chicken things.
But if you asked me about my own,
I would say "leave them alone".

Pet’s Revenge
For example a Dachshund dog was thrown 5 floors to his death
The owner photographed this and posted it online
His dog looked like he was sleeping but was dead

I tracked the Dachshund Dog’s Killer down and killed him
I put him in an 80s violent video game with block graphics
I hit him with a stabbing dagger in both shoulders
Then machete chopped half of his pinto skull off
Finally finishing him off with a flick knife in the gut

Next there was the case of the animal rescue centre
9 pussycats were murdered for no real reason
Except they were living in the centre

I drove up to the animal sanctuary in a Technical
I beeped and they opened the gates and I saw him
The Pussycat Murderer who swaggered about like a real man
I aimed my remote control 50 Cal gun with my PS2 controller
And popped the ******* with a hundred 50 Cal Raufoss rounds

A woman cut the foot off her dog with a machete
Because the dog annoyed his owner
All this was filmed and posted online

I found the Limping Woman who made her dog painfully limp
I said Hi and smirked then tightly tied her up
And had my way with her 25 times in a calendar day
Her ***** was sore and needed stitching due to the table leg
As did her feet when I sliced off all her **** toes

Most bizarre of all was the small dog
Who was partly skinned alive by his owner
This dog was rescued and given treatment

Dog Skinner was a hard man to find but not hard in a fight
I threw him a knife and said, ‘Skin me or be maimed...’
His lunges were slow and unskilled and embarrassing
I blocked them with one hand and closed my eyes
I snapped his spine with one single side kick

And a man drove his car and threw out his dog
Like a bit of trash with duct taped up feet and muzzle
The cops rescued the dog and jailed the man

I impersonated a Police Officer and ‘apprehended’ the suspect
Who had just been released from jail for leaving his pet dog for dead
He let me into his house and I Tasered the ******* and duct taped him up
I dragged Dog Duct Tape Man to my fake squad car and put him in the trunk
I drove him to a secluded spot and did a very enjoyable EJK

I enjoyed each and every act of Pet’s Revenge and ******
This is my new job and I always enjoy it and get away with it
I have backing from Big Brother and the Illuminated People

I want to know
if that Moroccan cat
is doing better than I am.
I really hope so.
I hope he has found a home,
and a love like no other.
I hope that cat
is happy now.

I remember you as a fluffy furball
As I gave you the first baby bath.

Made you sit & stand- as ya learnt 'em all
Oh! with you- it wasn't an easy path!

So well grown up, now past 4 years I recall.
Though calm & gentle, the time
rows fast.

Will it ever be the same midst all these brawl?
Never will it be- since things ran 'south'!

May be far- we will always, love you Pal.
Happier you wag & stronger gets your health!

I have forgotten
how many cats she has but
****, are they lucky

6:24 PM
30/8/19

Here am I, a fur detective,
What is a pet's perspective?
Fur friends make us happy, you see,
Have to return their love, ask me,
What would your pet say to thee?
Thanks for the cuddles, good company,
Thanks for meal and comfy bed,
Thanks for the snacks, enough said,
Message from this fur detective,
Turn your eyes to the pet's perspective!