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your idea of perfect is a girl with blonde hair, so when you say that you like me i look at you with a confused stare. i'd always wanted highlights - i used to hate that my hair was dark brown. i used to wish to be blonde, like i used to wish my hair was straight when i wore it down.

i used to wish for a lot of things - like not being the last choice, like not being afraid of public speaking and being more comfortable with my voice. like always being perfect, like always being completely okay. like always giving the benefit of the doubt, but you know what? i'm tired today.

your idea of perfect is a girl that looks absolutely beautiful but nothing like me. and that kind of perfect is something i will never be.
Before you start reading:
None of these messages were ever sent. Niki made them up. Niki is me.
She’s scared of losing a friendship — so she writes instead of speaking.
That way, she never risks an answer.
But maybe, if she writes enough, she won’t forget what it felt like.


Niki
24 May 2025
00:04
age 14

YOU ARE SO PERFECT
not because of respect or intellect
or the one hundred you got on the exam
and it’s not that i don’t give a ****
about those things
but i DO care about how you pull my strings
your voice so soft so gentle
your mind so judgemental
you’ve got everything figured out
will never be too loud
nor too quiet you say what you must
but don’t want everything to be discussed
you know what you want and expect
you know the impact
i wanted to be like you so bad
now that i think about it it’s sad
but you’re a musical in a world of songs you’re not right in a world full of wrongs
you look so stunning so pretty
pretty like stars outside of my city
that’s a weird place for me to draw a line
this city is as much yours as it’s mine
but you would rather see darkness
outside of it while i like the starkness
sure i talk and smile and laugh
but you’re the confident bibliotaph
you’re the only person i show my poetry
i hope you see how special that is to me
now i established all of that
yet still didn’t hint what i’m getting at
something i will never be able to do
is measure or stand up to you
and i grew to accept it  
i LOVE you but it still HURTS a little bit.


Poppy Piume
5 July 2025
19:37
age 15

YOU ARE SO LEFT
steal songs personalities commit theft?
you have opinions engraved in your soul
i came out to you then felt a hole
rainbows on your bags socks and hats
you know “facts” never numbers or stats
i don’t want to fight
you don’t want to admit i’m right
you’re supportive but supported too
in some ways i’m jealous of you
you’ve been doing some healing
sharing what you’re feeling
i hope you’re happy and starstruck
while i am trying not to cry and feel stuck
maybe you can’t see
i hate you making fun of me
for marks i worked hard to get
things i wish i would have said
dreams i want to achieve some day
then i’ll be free from the things you say
the songs we both listen to
expectations set by you
the words you write
i’ll live in darkness without you’re light
but you might repeat “i’m not right, i’m left”
i’ll realise you did commit theft
and i’ll learn to love your art
as i figure out you STOLE MY HEART.


Niki
2 November 2027
23:41
age 16

I AM SORRY
that’s what I’ll say once I know the story
still won’t really know what to do
but might tell you how I felt about you
it will be too late
we’ll convince ourselves it wasn’t fate
you’ll have a lovely girlfriend by that time
I’ll be seeing a guy and my love won’t rhyme.


Poppy Piume
13 December 2030
01:30
age 20

I FEEL BETRAYED
i wish we would have stayed
this wouldn’t be such a ***** up
if we were still in that city but we grew up
you used to hate everything you now are
how did we get this far
from what we used to be
little you would want to unsee
she literally wouldn’t allow
the boyfriend you have got now
the small me would be sad as well
she has so many new stories to tell
but never got over
the way that other girl drove her
mad crazy all *******
YOU taught me this attitude.
I am so proud of this. Please let me know what you think
eliana Jun 25
People say it is a field,
A lovely field of happiness.
With flowers spread,
Throughout this field.
Skies,
So clear and blue.
The sun,
Shining ever so brightly.
Birds chirping as if it were
The first of spring.
Rabbits hopping around
As if they could go on
For forever and eternity.
As the creatures enjoy,
Enjoy this wonderful place,
For it makes everything
Joyful, exciting, and happy.
A dark cloud has come,
Taken up the rays of sunlight.
With one cloud,
Brings many clouds.
The flowers,
Have now died,
And weeds
Have taken their place.
The skies
Are no longer clear and blue.
The sun
No longer shines with the rays,
The rays from the heavens above,
Instead it rains,
Rains as if it were meant to do so.
Birds no longer chirp as if it were
The first of spring.
Rabbits don't feel the need to hop,
For they won't go on,
For forever and eternity.
People say it's like a field,
A lovely field of happiness.
They don't understand,
For every field of flowers,
There is a single ****,
That one **** eventually spreads,
And takes over the flowers
Replacing them as if
They have never existed.
For every time,
It is sunny and blue,
There will always be
That one small, dark cloud,
Hovering right near by.
There is no such
Thing as a lovely field of happiness,
Every field has its flaw.
It is a field everyone lives in
Some point in life.
Once you are in this field,
There is no way of escaping,
There is no way in making it perfect,
For there will always be that one,
That one **** or cloud,
Standing in your way,
Of perfection and happiness
Everyone wonders what life really does have to offer and wonders what the meaning of "The Perfect Life" is. The truth is there isn't one.
Bri Jun 9
100 percent effort
100 percent of the time
100 for all my grades
100 hours of work
100 times I was the best
Perfection.
100 percent depression
100 percent of the time
100 nights I didn’t sleep
100 hours of crying
100 masks I wear every day
Perfection?
100 percent expectation
100 percent on display
100 forced smiles
100 ways I hide the pain
100 versions of myself
Perfection…
Aditi Apr 18
I wonder if you have scars,
To me, they would shine as if stars.
The luminaires without which
the night sky would be melancholic.
You are Imperfectly Perfect;
this might sound a little hyperbolic.

I wonder if you hate those cuts,
The ones that you shrouded with all your gut.
They are not scars, but stories.
Marking on the frame of your soul, a territory.
You are Perfectly Imperfect;
I hope you know what this reflects.

Time heals all wounds,
and leaves the scars.
How else would you know,
that you are a survivor?
If you have ever struggled with scars (could be from anything), then this one id for you. I hope nothing for you but to feel secure in your own body. I want to tell you that the scars don't make you worth any less. The only thing they make you is Unique. So make sure to wear with your head held high. I hope the hard times pass soon and you get better!
Izan Almira Apr 12
We always talk about
strength,
about pride,
about the hurt others caused;
we are the victims of our world
we look for pity.
for understanding,
we talk about the monsters
we didn’t unleash.

I want to talk about regret,
about the demons I’ve let out;
about the ache I burned in others hearts;
about the monster I’ve been in others
fairy tales.

I want to be raw
and true to myself.
I’ve never been good
or perfect,
or even alright.

My words have been like poison
and they have pounded in others’ hearts.
I have left people
to themselves
when they were at their worst.

I have used my power to hurt;
to insult.

There are people who carry pain
because of me.

And what is worse
is that I have denied forgiveness
to people
for things
I could have done.

I tweak stories
and tell lies
to make an angel
out of me.

I have excused
my actions
to myself,
to be able to close
both my eyes
when I sleep.

Sometimes I wonder
if I’d be
better off
dead.
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