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equitube May 2019
On the south side of kelso if it's there that ya choose to go
Well if its there ya go then ya just gotta know bout a man named tweaker joe
Now tweaker, he's a scrapper and if ya go down on his door
Don't you worry about wakin him up. He aint slept since 74
Well he's weird, weird tweaker joe
The weirdest tweaker in South Kelso
Weirder than a three toed frog
Stranger than a five eared dog

Now tweaker hes a scrapper and he likes his shiny things
And he likes to see what fun he has by the chaos that he brings
He got a custom BMX bike with a flashlight on the grill. He got 32 lb of brass in his pack, he got a dope bag in his shoe.

Well he's weird, weird tweaker joe
The weirdest tweaker in South Kelso
Weirder than a three toed frog
Stranger than s five eared dog


NOW Friday bout a week ago Tweaker scrappin cars. But at the end of the alley sat a cop named Thurman and ooh dat cop looked ******

Well he cast his light upon joe cuz Thurman had a plan
Tweaker joe learned a lesson bout messin with a future Sherriff man


Well he's weird, weird tweaker joe
The weirdest tweaker in South Kelso
Weirder than a three toed frog
Stranger than s five eared dog


Well the 2 men took to runnin and hes dragged down to the jail
Joey looked like a wrung out tweaker with a couple of teeth left

Well he's weird, weird tweaker joe
The weirdest tweaker in South Kelso
Weirder than a three toed frog
Stranger than s five eared dog

Well he's weird, weird tweaker joe
The weirdest tweaker in South Kelso
Weirder than a three toed frog
Stranger than s five eared dog
This is quite regional to South Kelso WA but it's funny. I premiered it at karaoke last night but forgot a newly written verse
Robert Ippaso May 2019
A little known fact
That may not scream real tact,
But the truth nonetheless
A gift I possess.

I’m a genius all-right,
My star always bright,
From birth until now
Always destined to WOW.

Some call me quite mad,
But in truth they’re just sad,
That they cannot be
A star just like me.

I’m one in a billion
America’s pillion,
The man of the hour,
The seat of all power.

Each word that I utter
Causes records to shatter,
Opponents to swoon
Crying world ending doom.

Yet the markets are up,
World leaders pile up
To knock on my door
Beseeching for more.

My supporters all know
The effect of my glow,
While the rest shall soon feel,
My art of the deal.

I’ve only just started, you’ve seen nothing yet,
I’m the one you should follow and not that great threat,
I’ll make us all rich, of that there’s no doubt
Let’s bring in the sunshine, enough of the drought.
annh Apr 2019
[Enter Marco, a young Milanese courtier.]
It is he, is it not, whose honeyed barbs drip with sweet condescension, and whose kisses taint fair Bianca’s lips with similar speech? Behold, how he frames her vision to reflect his own and directs her preferences accordingly.

Fie, I have been April’s fool in believing Antonio my ally. His encouragement was as sweetmeats to a greedy child; but I have chipped a tooth on that candy-coated morsel and found its centre to be flavoured with deceit.

My cousin Bianca, whose name speaks directly to her nature, whose light once made shadows dance for joy; how extinguished she appears now. For as Antonio sparkles and splutters at her side, her brilliance flickers and fades.

Lo, how he has seeded his untruths within her honest heart. His lies smuggled like contraband, his blandishments the articles of his trade. God’s wounds! Such a purveyor of frippery and falsehood I have never met the equal of.

It is high time to confront this sneak thief in his lurking-hole and to uncloak his creeping connivance. I shall bottle my rival’s words and choose carefully the occasion for their uncorking; then pour for the crowd a rich liquor of ripe requital.

‘It is notorious that we speak no more than half-truths in our ordinary conversation, and even a soliloquy is likely to be affected by the apprehension that walls have ears.’
- Eric Robert Linklater
Ylzm Apr 2019
The earth's flat
I see it
so it is

The sun, not what it seems
For day in NY, night in Beijing
No, the sun's another NASA's lie
I don't see it, but I know its something else

And yes the pictures of the blue sphere
isolated alone in black empty space
taken by astronauts in Apollo 8
and the earth's curvature seen on the ISS

All lies again
No Apollo, No ISS
All lies, lies, lies

Its a disk I tell you
no one have seen it
but its true
**** me sidewase-- sidewise apparently,
i can't get a word in between these red dots and
Red snakes biting at my letters's ankles
At least when I'm pen ning I have the option to ignore that im an *******

You **** gobbling weak kneed slack jawed fool

Alright Alright let's take it easy I'm simply trying to help
No one would ever doubt your genius
But your spelling can certainly take a little
Critazisms?
Is that how you
Spelt?

Dont patronize me **** it
jay Apr 2019
MA POTATO BRINGS ALL DA BOYS TO DA YARD
AND THEY'RE LIKE
"ITS BETTER THEN YOURS"
DANG RIGHT, ITS BETTER THEN YOURS
I CAN MASH IT, BUT I GOTTA CHARGE
MA BEAUTIFUL PARODY OF "MILKSHAKE"
Sketcher Mar 2019
Hey there Delilah,
What's it like in your ******,
I'm a thousand miles away,
But girl, I smell that **** from China.
Yes, I can.
I've got a nice white mini-van,
Lemme tie them hands.

Hey there Delilah,
Don't you worry about the distance,
I will be there in a jiffy,
Give this song another listen,
I'm by your side,
I came fast and now I'll slap your thighs,
And cover your eyes.

Oh, you've got some nice tiddies.
Oh, I'll give you STD's.
Oh, I'll tie you to a tree.
Oh, I'll ******* till' you bleed.
******* till' you bleed.

Hey there Delilah,
You know my **** is getting hard,
But just believe me, girl
Someday I'll let you out of this here car,
We'll have it good,
I'll have your life, you'll have my wood,
Just like you should.

Hey there Delilah,
I've got so much **** to say,
Why write you ten thousand songs,
When I could rub your **** all day,
I'd rub it hard,
From house, to school, to pool, to plane, to yard,
I'll leave some scars.

Oh, you've got some nice tiddies.
Oh, I'll give you STD's.
Oh, I'll tie you to a tree.
Oh, I'll ******* till' you bleed.
******* till' you bleed.

I wish upon a summer star,
****** strings for my guitar,
I think that's gross so I must be gay,
My friends will all make fun of you,
Degrading lies like, "You're a Jew",
You'll try to run but I will make you stay,
Delilah, I can promise you,
That one and one always makes two,
And two people create the greatest games,
Great ***** games!

Hey there Delilah,
You be good, and don't you diss me,
Cause, you're the sub and I'm the dom,
And you will be history if you do,
You'll end up in some cannibal stew,
The liver to swallow and the skin to chew,
Doing like cannibals do,
Like cannibals do.

Oh, you've got some nice tiddies.
Oh, I'll give you STD's.
Oh, I'll tie you to a tree.
Oh, I'll ******* till' you bleed.
******* till' you bleed.
idk man... just roll with it...
Kiki Shaw Mar 2019
parodies
outlived
the
almost poet,
Based on a blackout poem from an introduction to Lewis Carroll's Alice In Wonderland.
Kasti Mar 2019
so

ul
cr
ie

s)


ol


itude
e.e.cummings? at least I tried
Robert Ippaso Mar 2019
Cohen’s a snitch, an eel,
A despicable squeal,
Why I once trusted this horrible man,
This sniveling lawyer whose life is a sham,
Is simply beyond me a momentary lapse,
Yet one more sharp pain that my energy saps.
And while this all irks, stealing my time,
I revel in knowing the payback’s sublime.
His next stop a cell, depressing and cramped,
The perfect abode for this creep to be dumped.
As for these democrats digging for dirt
Little they realize their pistols just squirt,
I’ve the bazooka loaded and primed
Waiting to fire at the moment best timed,
So let them all revel while they still can
For I am the gale force to their puny fan.
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