Always being flirted with
While others never get noticed
Standing out in densely gathered crowds
The highs were way above and beyond
Even the mightiest and highest of the clouds
The shine would never ever leave
My newly found and now world famous face
But, it takes lots of **** hard work
If wanting to stay in Hollywood’s first place
Never liked to be the runner up
Only ever winning, at any sort of race
Paparazzi snapping, tabloids exaggerating
For what’s its actually worth
One more bit of bad gossip mongering
They could bring anyone, back down to earth.

Once upon a time
‘Expose’ was to absorb moments.
Word and deed
Are now adulterated.

Of air that can come and not go,
since he took her by his side and told her he'd never let her go
the paparazzi more than happy to celebrate their joy
to avoid eye contact in the brim as a boy
so soft it takes for joys to break
.as a matter of fact, she eats the morning paper for her breakfast.
her face glued to the 3 of pages
of glitz that even had her in search of 'sages'
first few months, such a bright honeymoon
to enjoy the few, sad comes so soon
of glasses that creak like soft porcelain
her aged beauty that came to fade?
some suspected this, and some that
she had her sleeves out to see if she grew fat
the months were counted, 5 it was
the father denied for it was nonsense
and she kept counting the days to pass
she craved the attention from the mass'
a little unknown boy would gather the fame
the ever changing world so tall
some day its the damsel in distress,
some day its a new boy for all.

(Recurring Reflections And Beliefs)

Birthday after birthday
i keep looking back...
and find five girls always on my tail,
i see them as my regular paparazzi
when i am in my busiest moments,
when things work out adversely,
against all my best efforts
i find them still tagging along with me...

And then,
i look back at my most trying times
i recall those epiphanies that came to light my way,
how they guided me through,
until i was out of the dark tunnel...
.....until that MOMENT came
when i could hear with just one ear,
i have no regrets, though, or anger within,
for, i could still hear the leaves rustle
when a light breeze blows...
i hear even the dry oak leaves
as they hit the ground,
or when an empty plastic cup
is blown by the wind
from corner to corner of the street...
these days, i am more aware
of the bees buzzing on top of the flowers,
the birds, scattering seeds, helping
create new lives on the ground.....
i still clearly hear the hummingbird flapping its wings,
hovering, as it drinks from the bird feeder,
even as dusk sets in...
i hear the mockingbird...as it closes its wings
and roosts on a pine twig.....

One vital truth keeps me going-
i still have my one good ear
my eyes, my arms, my feet...
always, i am reminded of this question:
why did God endow us with two eyes,
two ears, two hands, two feet?
we lose one, there is still the other
in our daily lives, the same thing applies
among our loved ones and friends,
we lose some, we gain some....
some doors close, another one opens...
second, even third chances are ever waiting,
a fresh start is always there to be claimed...

In this stretch of my life,
i still am faced with choices on paths to take,
those once transitory thoughts
still visit and within me, they stir..
but, reason and good judgment
rise above all...

.....these things, i have realized---
most of what i wanted then...and didn't get,
i have now let go....
selflessness is inevitable,
there are people...things...to be prioritized
over  our own happiness
understanding is important
.....seeing myself here, now,
.....i am happy,
.....i am no longer there
still, i am glad to have been there...

When asked the most puzzling questions,
i have learned to turn
to the wisdom of the children,
i always, always have but one answer....
"...just because...".

At this point and time,
life, still is not perfect...
but i have known how to be calm,
as i face each new day...
perfect, or imperfect,
it doesn't matter anymore,
heart and mind have been honed,
for this knowledge overrules all others:

God is beside me, He is behind me...
He leads me,
He's got me covered...
i have nothing to fear...

(November 13, 2013)


Sally

Copyright November 2013
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan

i don't want to flatten you out
put you on a frame in the hall of fame
where people would go just to gawk and stare at you
that would be so cruel of me, because you-
you
are so much more complex than that
you are the foundation of a house
something everyone takes for granted because they cant see it
how many times have you slipped out unnoticed
by those looking for the shiniest, brightest stars in the world
if you look for those
you miss the planets
you miss the way that you sleep with a shirt over your head to "block out the light" so you can sleep better
you miss the ridiculous, pleasurable conversations
"did you know that Louie Armstrong would cut off the callouses on his lips with a pocket knife?"
"we should write a comic strip about a starch that smokes **** and call it "The Baked Potato."'

let's keep away from the photographers, the paparazzi, the artists, the writers

you hate attention anyway
said you would rather "sleep on the roof for a week" than give a presentation in public

i have discovered you
but i won't ever tell

the books will not mention you
there will be no statues of us
but the ones we build with sugar cubes on the privacy of our own kitchen table
where messes like us can be swept away and kept in no other place than our memories
and the storage on my phone

i will memorize the lines on your torso and back
but children will never study you in geography, they will never be asked the year you were born or at what latitude and longitude your chest muscles meet your abdominals

a search on Google will pull nothing about you

you remain undiscovered
to all
but me.

He traveled the seven seas and conquered the world
Inherited the riches of the kings before him
Little did he know of the monsters under the bed
Creeping in the shadows, following
The man obsessed with the mirrors on the walls
Who hoped to be someone different
He really thought if he collided face to face with the problem
The misunderstanding would come into clear view;
In a fit of fury the man threw the bottles at the TV screen
Which played E channel's siren song
He was strong for only so long
Now he's anxious trapped in this cage
Ripping up all the magazines that report little white lies
They hypothesize, materialize, advertise
A false delusion that takes away the substance of a person
It's only a matter of time before the king
Who traveled the seven seas and conquered the world
Inherited the riches of the kings before him
Falls like the kings before him.

The paparazzi are staked out
For the latest splash trending.
Telephoto lenses focussed
On the door in a non-descript
Neighbourhood.
Eye-Witness copter hoovers,
We are in rhythm with the whirling
Chop-chop
Of breaking news.
Rivetted to our screens.
A door opens to reveal
A dentist
On his way to work,
Wearing alligator shoes
And wollen pants.
We'd hoped to see
A mane boa
Round his neck.