Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Andie Jenkins May 2019
I guess I’ll just wait
Another month
Just one November
Some time in between
And then I’ll tell you
I promise
I always keep my promise
But I should wait
I don’t know what I want
And I’m sorry I hurt you
I’m sorry it will be more than a November
I just need to know if it was you
Or the feeling
I wish they were one in the same, but
Sometimes it’s too easy for me to
fall in love with love
and not you
God I don’t want to
Hurt you

And that is what’s
Changed
I hurt him to find comfort in anything else, but
Hurting you is
Slowly
Clipping —chipping at my heart
Right in the middle
Like a bullet that goes straight in so
You dig, and dig dig dig
Through this mess in your chest your
Mind alone in its room of mirrors nothing
Is changing

Bang shot fired only
One shot fired but zing
Boom Boom Boom
louder, pounding head shouting
don’t bite it just swallow
Chest is hollow throat is
Tighter face turning whiter wait-
Don’t forget to breathe, *******, in ,****,
out- stop
Joilee May 2019
It's a black hole, engulfing all the light and good inside,
no one can comprehend this black hole,
you can only feel it.
Feeling the way it consumes your strength because you have to prevent yourself from screaming into the abyss.
It's running miles and miles, but only being able to breathe through a straw.
It silences you from speaking the true meaning of your words;
shredding you up thought by thought.
Yet, it's the one thing that will never leave.
Moving around in circles, like a dog chasing its tail,
trying to find an opening from the voice within.
Getting questioned 'what's wrong' and desiring to punch them is what this black aura does to people.
Having no sense of what's right or wrong at that moment.
It's not just butterflies in the stomach
or having your palms sweat
or feeling light-headed,
it's the feeling of wanting to throw up,
not being able to breathe properly,
the room getting smaller while feeling like everyone is judging you.
It can get so bad to the point where you start wanting to peel off your skin,
to shut your brain off,
but you can't.
It's impossible.
annabruining Apr 2019
I never knew how it felt lacking words; Being unable to express; unable of movement; of communicating.
I never felt how it was being unable to understand, how it was to be misunderstood. The unwillingness to understand.
You looked at me as if I was invisible, if I was a blank page in a fantasy book.
If I was the rain after a happy summer day. If I was about to leave my body. Couldn’t you tell that I was losing? Losing from the battle with my thoughts? Couldn’t you see that my tears were screaming for help? That the hands in my hair were asking you to hold me. Asking you to understand me. To be with me.
I never knew how it felt to be this small. Sitting on the ground. Wanting to disappear. My voice thrills, my legs are shaking, my mouth is dry, and my feelings are the only thing I am able to swallow. I never felt so naked, naked with my clothes on. My walls and masks; my personalities and defense mechanism. Gone. There was me. Naked. Me. Sitting on the cold floor, facing myself. Crying. Calling. Asking to be understood. Asking For help. For answers. For somebody to save me. To save me from myself.
I never knew how it felt to lose.                                    

But I did lose

I did.

-AIL
losing from yourself is the biggest lost
Philomena Apr 2019
Sometimes I like to think I'm a lady
Them I remember I'm wearing ***** shorts and a satanic tee

Sometimes I like to pretend I'm smart
Then I panic and fail another test

Sometimes I like to believe I'm all better
Then I have another panic attack

There is always room for improvement and acceptance
Shaking

Tunnel vision

Dizziness

No precision

Almost gone

Blurry vision

The world spinning

Vision fades

Lights out

Gone today
Andrew Mar 2019
9:32
something feels off
not wrong
but tonight will be rough

9:47
my chest hurts
so much
i feel trapped in this shell of myself

10:04
dizzy, shaking, afraid
laying on the bathroom floor
nobody can see me

10:12
ive started to cry
too dizzy to stand
cant open my eyes
my body is wrong

10:19
it will never be over
drying the tears
time go back
be who they want me to be
dysphoria
blake Mar 2019
eyes are dripping like gutters after the rain
hands are shaking like an addict's
breaths are short and fast like someone who ran a race
mind is stu-stu-stuck like a br-broken record
Carson Campbell Feb 2019
Clouds yell angrily
Rain eats at the ground
Screaming chaos  
swirls all around

My head rolls back  
My eyes turn pitch black
My mind starts to crack
My grip begins to snap

I know I'm not crazed
I know I'm still sane
But the wind still rattles  
This broken window pane

I have to move
I have to do something
I know I'll lose it if I do nothing


I don’t feel okay
I don’t feel fine
I'm plagued by something  
I cannot define

I feel dead
Yet also alive
I'm starting to wonder  
if I'll survive

My mind goes astray
My head starts to sway
I have to run,
I have to get away.  

Something pierces my petrified panic  
  
Permeating peace
Out of darkness I fall
Hearing heaven’s call
Perfect release  



Though I’m still left sore
From that horrid dream
God, it seems,  
sees so much more
Next page