Absorbing Sun's caring embrace
and the water's life,
the trees mix them into oxygen for the man,
for he has planted the seeds
which marked their beginning — organisms vital for wildlife and shelter.

The man now receives their appreciation
with the maturing of the fruit.
To eat it is honoring its purpose and time,
for it grew only for you, as a gift.
Earth's hospitality was never meant for granted,
but be returned to the cycle.

It spins like our planet in space,
around a warm core and a cold shell.
Stars there align to the call of energy
designed to dance in gray,
and to portray protons and electrons
in a chemical reaction,
beginning of the first light — pressed lighter igniting candles.

1.  FUNCTION
a function (of a function (of a function)⭠⭠⮪
   ↳ function (of a function (of a function))     ↑
                                                               ­               ↑
function (of a function (of a function))           ↑
⇅                                                              ­             ↑
function (of a function (of a function))→ → ⤴

2. CONTRAPTION
a cute curvy carbon contraption
that salivates at the ringing of a bell
that clamps shut when its hairs are touched
that flies south for the winter

3. GREEN
is the earthworm that eats dirt and ***** soil
the lichen that makes barren rock habitable
the bees that pollinate so many plants
the euglena

i seem to breathe, yet am none of these. this makes me
a broken Bigbelly blinking in the dark
a traffic light saying wait, wait, wait to an empty sidewalk

I thought
my thoughts
were bigger than anyone's.
Maybe I was bigger than anyone.

This served to isolate me
from the fact that I am small, not bigger and I am okay
with that.

When did it begin? Why would I need this mechanism of living?
Did it start at birth? Or when my cat died in our house fire?
Maybe...
When I lost my father to his mental illness? When he was taken away?
Maybe the ****?
When the trauma set in?

If I am a mass of cells, a living organism,
vulnerable to this world of others.
I need protection. There was none when little. Children need protection.

I developed my bigger-self by watching others. I learned to protect.

I learned to heal. I learned to forgive, but always, my thoughts
were bigger than yours. You didn't recognize so I appeared
aloof, angry, bitter, warming, smarter, friendly, volatile, politically correct, patient, intense, stubborn, caring, wistful, shattered and put together again. I was all over the map. I couldn't find my waypoint, until now.

This is life's way. Our vehicle is our thoughts.

I am not bigger in thought, in action or in self. I am tired of running away, of blaming, of being ashamed.

I no longer need protection other than from myself.

I am now relaxing in the part I could not have been taught. The idea that even experiences, over and over and over again, would teach me my lesson. You ask why people keep repeating
mistakes. This is our allotment. The price each of us pays.

It is my thoughts that save me now, wondering about my son, his illness, about my predicament
after years of hard work, unabashedly independent, procuring mindfulness, deliberating the Buddhist way, meditating on thoughts,
through a maze of my twelve steps
that I now for this moment am alone in.  My thoughts deconstructed. More connected, but not bigger.

My shoulders drop, my face unfurrows, my heart slows, a tear begins if I let it. I am released. I will not suffer further.

How can I tell you, I am not bigger any longer and I am at peace.

From the alluring meadows of plants,
and the enchanting wonders that encompass it.
Each organism unique,
none as much as even bleak.
As we grow and split,
cell by cell.
Animals grow with development,
Autotrophs harness sunlight,
and breathe in food.
An unknown stimuli,
compromising all we'll know.
Leaving animals free of their golden glow.
Their response will soon show,
animals in exile from their once snug homes.

Every living thing
holds the same value!
The tiniest flower that grows through
the cracks of a sidewalk
is worth the same as the 70 year old
Oak tree
in your front yard.
The man who collects the garbage
from your office building
is worth the same
as the CEO of your company.
If you were gone
Or if she were gone
Or if I were gone
Or if that tiny flower got stomped on
And giant oak tree          
Got chopped down
The world would be a different place...
Even if it only caused the slightest change
In oxygen.