Shes this girl who needs someone…..

Shes this girl who still has a brick wall up so nobody can break her heart again…..

Shes this girl who needs me….

She cant let me go as for I cant do it either….

I care for her way too much to just let go…

Her emotions gets to her sometimes but that doesn’t stop me …

It wont stop me from loving her….

Loving her til my heart stops beating …

or even then……

 

We met that one day for the first time…

She this girl that ran to me as fast as she could…

With all her might….

Feeling free for the first time in a long time

only for a hug…

A hug that showed our happiness…

Her freedom….

A hug that shows the power of our love……

The love that she needs and want…

The big smile on her face made me smile & made me say …..

“So this is how love is? im liking this” …

The one girl im starting to love….

The one girl I actually want ….

The one girl who trusts me enough to let me hold her heart and make sure it don’t break into pieces…

Again

She trusts me….

I want her to trust me ….

I want her to Love me as much as I love her.

 

As we walked into the woods

She held my hand so gently

We walked to the small stream just to show her how beautiful it can be…

My leg slipped into the water & she laughs

Her laugh is perfect

Her laugh is what makes me smile

Her laugh is like music to my ears

Her smile is PERFECT

So perfect that I wouldn’t change it

 

Everything around us was so peaceful

The sky

The trees

Our breaths

Our hearts

 

Walking back…

I kissed her scars…

I turned my head to her

The first perfect kiss was made

A kiss with passion

A kiss of love

A kiss so amazing that will never be forgetten

Our hearts were saying to kiss again……

  

Arriving in my room

So quickly we kissed

With so much passion in our hearts

Pinning me against the wall

Showing me her passionate love

The world around us seemed to disappear

It’s a good feeling because now……..

im addicted to this love

Late Nights…

wide awake

trying to sleep

so much in my head…

memories….

get my heart broken

& this is how i end up..

wide awake with my phone

laptop

& music blasting in my ears…

Thinking about everything:

-memories from 2014

-how i made it out of high school

-how i came out to of the closet

-how i fell in love with this girl & got my heart broken by her in just 3 months

-how will my life be this year

-how i met a new girl but shes leaving in a month & i want her to stay but i have to let her go

 A LOT of things just running through my head 

sometimes its like a riot

& i dont know how to stop it

Late nights are just every night 

where my thoughts are more active 

i cant control them

sometimes i just wanna shut my mind off

& sleep until im all healed

wake up all new and ready for anything again

Late nights are so quite

my thoughts are too loud 

……………….

Music ON

….

World….

OFF!

Just when i thought the person i saw at the blurry exit was going to help me out….
I know its another girl…
I started walking a little faster…
Been yelling back & forth having conversations…
She wasn’t so happy to be in this fog either…
She said she started to feel comfortable because i was there…
I haven’t reached her yet but
She tells me shes leaving…
We both got sad..
im still walking to her…
We just found each other
& Now shes leaving.. 
It makes me sad because i thought she would help me out & we could have a chance to be best friends & maybe end up together…
I want her to stay…
She does wanna leave
but 
she doesn’t wanna leave
because of me…
i want her to stay ….
She starts walking away slowly from the exit…
I keep walking to the exit watching her walk off in this fog….
my face drops….
walking slow again…
watching her disappear 
out of here….

~”Im still stuck In this fog…
where you left me…
Its ok because im almost out…
I can see a foggy human figure far away at the exit….
I know its not you…
I know its someone else…
I know its not you because that figure is patiently waiting…
Ill reach them soon…
Itll be clear….
but ill never forget you..
ill never forget where you left me…
Ill be moving on
Remembering you but never going back…
Never going back into that fog again where you left me…”~

Here's my heart,
Locked away
So keep it for another day
And maybe in a century
My heart would want to return to me

Isn't it sad
when the only person
you want to be near is
half way across the country
and they're tired of waiting
so they decide to come see
you because they'll be a tad
bit closer to you but you have
to go away on that particular day..
so now it's all over no more
I love you, goodnights..
"but I hope you're sleeping tight.."
no.. it's some kind of not-so-harsh
goodbye.. it's not beautiful either
it's a heart breaking kind of pain that
stays in a range of months to days.
So don't tell me you hope that I'm okay..
because I'm not going to be
not without you.

Does she sound familiar to you
she is sound of familiarity between strangers
You can call her the vintage sound
The intrusion that can’t be ignored
Tick tock ,don’t save the last dance for later
Repelled from the future to stay away from the present
Her Pendulum swing in search of happiness
she said we all need the clocksmith to repair our broken piece
Polish and shine me all you want without my sound am nothing
she might be an unpleasing sound to a married ear
forgive her if she craves for attention ,getting old and rusted is not a perfect look
Tick tock sees herself in the mirror only her reflection was no more

It's around midnight
My feet kiss the cold, hard floor
I should have worn socks

The demons inside my mind
they whisper to me sunrise to bedtime
and when i finally fall asleep
their soft "mur murs" morph into dreams

Most of the time they like to bring up the past
playing clips of happiness we once had
no commercial break
just you and me and an exemption from reality

But during daylight hours
they sing sweet melodies of negativity
smooth persuading voices belting accapella
calling out all my imperfections

They're so selfish
my little demons,
******* out all my knowledge, confidence, and self control
to make room as their home