To isolate is to be angry, alone,
But to be angry is too close to violence,
So why not be alone?
Alone is scary,
Alone is losing yourself,
Alone is impossible, but the feeling still there.
Alone and depression are interlinked,
A big word often misused as a funny joke,
That hurts me.
That a state so serious and personal is made into something so unserious.
Depression is a problem that feels impossible to fix,
you know its there,
It pops up from time to time, more often than not.
It eats away at your brain.
Feeding.
You don't know how to fix it,
or if you even can.
The help you need seems obsolete.
It seems impossible to actually follow through.
As in a state of loneliness it is easy to lose yourself.
That's what I found myself doing,
Losing myself.
I've been gone six months now.
I'm still lost.
I'm still looking.
But that feeling keeps on coming back.
More often now,
It's eating away at all of me.
I feel as though it will soon be finished.
But the monster is still there,
Looming, waiting for the next time to strike.
And I will be left,
All alone
