I wore a beret to the office today, and people had **** to say
I wore a baseball cap pulled down over my injured eyebrows
I wore a sombrero on an Edwardian picnic

I wore a beanie to bed every night and I think it helped a lot
I wore a balaclava that was frozen to my mouth
I wore a bucket hat because it fits my face
I wore a fedora before it was cool Reuben
I wore a kippah and family pearls
I wore a trucker hat that said
    BRIDE
while my wife wore a button down that read
    QUEEN

I wore a trilby then, and of course one smoked
even if one didn't enjoy it

I wore a kufi and a Public Enemy T-shirt
I wore a Santa hat and each child took my picture
I wore a homburg hat, carried a bumbershoot umbrella
I wore a panama hat to a polo match on a cloudless day
I wore a mortarboard and robe, looking tall and clear-eyed
I wore a tam o'shanter, and had Brave **** written on my back
I wore a pillbox hat to my wedding and still get compliments to this day

I wore a visor and brought a sarong with me every single day
I wore a top hat, a ripped up suit, and dead flowers in the pocket
I wore a deerstalker most of the day Saturday, and I never do that
I wore a stetson with crossed sabers, yellow cord and sgt stripes
I wore a dunce cap and was summoned to the corner for the rest of the day

I wore a boater in summer and a beret in winter.
I did not look as good as this girl

I wore a pith helmet, a veil, a bee proof space suit,
leather gloves up to my elbows

I wore a Phrygian cap of doeskin lined with otter

I wore a turban then. In a flash we were
in each other's arms in an unrelenting hug

the bolt is stripped
worn from years of tightening
and the washer is worse
barely keeping them from contact
though we say we can stomach it
guts can only carry so far
where we've little else

A squirrel offered me
              a *******.

But just fondled my
            Nuts the whole time ..

When you watch your girly figure or your very manly vigor
There can be no ifs, ands or buts
For the snack that you should favor and the flavor you should savor
Should be a healthy little handful of nuts

Nuts are very handy and so much better than candy
Filled with good protein and fiber
A few grams of healthy fat, if you can just imagine that
So even your physician would prescriber (Poetic License Taken)

So when your stomach tells you, and appetite compels you
To enjoy a light and healthy repast
Remember nuts are crunchy and satisfy your munchies
And won’t add any inches to your ... bottom (Poetic License and Cleanliness Taken!)

© Victor Fuhrman

I don't know how I feel
Am I cold or alone?
And I don't know how I should feel
Am I doing this right?
My emotions don't make sense
Am I supposed to feel like this?
And it's driving me nuts

I was a happy boy
When my innocence was free
But then life hit me in the face
And I just didn't feel like me
A girl broke my heart
My family expect much
Mum and Dad are at war
And talking only deepens cuts

So yes, I don't know how I feel
And I don't how I should feel
My emotions don't make sense
And it's driving me nuts
And there's no but to this end
No turn around happy stanza
Because all I know is how to not feel happy
And it's driving me nuts