...the last of three for national poetry day when writing one's become a chore.


(sonnet #MMMMMMMCDXL)


Tis nash'nal po'try day, and I've from thence
Ne words for aught.  To be suffices.  Pale
Hours watch rain trip on puddles to avail,
As I wish to be out there listning, whence
Do not take notes; thet silver eye suspense
Just trims its nails through, sans a voice, is frail.
And when those navy racks glowr in betrayl,
I note orange bushes, yet hopes are pretense.
We have our dinner now as gloaming'd stir.
Wash dishes after, while the dark night to
Effect is black, so very black.  Who tour
Upon these roads are like the fireflies through
Warm August twilight.  Oh!  What is't as twere?
Why's writing such a chore?  Will being just do?

10Oct18c

I hate returning to that,
Dark corner in my heart.
There is so much so say,
And I don't know where to start.
All the issues I have,
Is beginning with me.
Issues I never wanted,
The worlds to see.
I've done a great job,
Hiding them perfectly.
The more I write,
The truth comes out forcefully.
I swear i never wanted to be the girl who.
Cripples myself in jealousy,
Always watching them before me.
I know its wrong,
But i cant help envy quietly.
I cant be happy for your blessing,
Because I'm comparing myself and it gets depressing.
That's only the top layer of my truth,
I let hate grab me of my youth.
The deeper secret is I had hate in my heart,
Everything around me was falling apart.
I put the blame on everything else except me.
But the real reason is me.
A lesson I had to learn,
Is people's love and respect is something i had to earn.
How was I could I expect people to be on my level,
When I was walking so close to the devil.
The desperate need for attention,
Was causing the constant rejection.
I had to realize I'll always be misunderstood,
I will always be judged and that's something  that needed to be understood.

Twitter says it's National Poetry Day
But no words come to me today
My inspiration will come back on another day

Etched in his mind,
The internal war,
Haemorrhaging blood,
Hidden once more,

Slowly he’s dying,
His body too weak,
Paralysed lips,
Unable to speak,

Traumatic life,
Slipping away,
His heavy soul,
Aching today.

He witnessed it all,
The burden unseen,
Screaming their names,
Tortured in dream,

His cries settle,
His memory fades,
Wiping the tears,
For former comrades.

(Repeat)

Oftentimes I find myself
staring at the sky,
drifting away
on clouds
and daydreaming of
your cerulean eyes.

I get lost in the memories,
and find myself in a daze.
Reality often seems futile
when I'm adrift
in this lustful haze.

My heart is
broken and bruised;
I know you want me too,
but how will I ever find you
while we're lost
in this maze.

And how am I supposed to stop missing you
when the cerulean sky
is consistently reminding me
of your cerulean eyes
and the bittersweet memories
that we held on
beautiful, nostalgic days.