In this one moment
There is peace without limit
Waiting to be found

The mind peers outside
Into the strange ether that
it forms each moment

In the rippling pond
The water fascinating
I see the cosmos

I like to write instead of fight, I punch with words and kick with sweet verbs and let language channel my energy, amplifying synergies and creating impact greater than my body can enact. The words come unbidden, hidden in my mind until the perfect time for them to pounce, they announce their intent and invent themselves anew, spreading truth into the night sky like a firefly, catching eyes and freeing minds, my words can give sight to the blind as they remove the ***** lenses and cleanse your senses so you can see the world clearly. These words I try to channel, try to filter, stitching them together like a quilter but really they knit themselves, I am just a self pretending to have power as each hour proves that I have no control, that I is a concept I made up, existential make-up to cover up the crisis that can’t be contained by vices and distractions, the fact that I am just chemical reactions that sustain the secret energy that is me, that flows through pathways and patterns that I can’t see, this illusion that I am free vexes me, entices me, talks nice to me but it is just a lie I made up to answer all the Why’s that I shouted at the sky, to help me deny the truth that one day I will die. I am just energy, flowing through circuits I will never see, just atoms taking shortcuts to combine and refine until consciousness arose and created the divine to explain the mysteries within the human mind. I looked inside, scared of what I might not find, but somehow found peace in the emptiness, bliss in the abyss, freedom as I let go and became one with the flow of the energy that is me, happy to have the gift to see where my atoms take me. Awareness is the miracle I may not understand but I’ll be ****** if I take it for granted. I may not control these words, and it may sound absurd but I will use this illusion of free will to keep my sanity long enough to help others find reality, to see we are all part of the same energy and finally rest easy in the sweet release of flowing freely.

Dear God I’m overcome.
I know no other way.
I’ve heard it works for some,
So finally I’ll pray.

No reason to rejoice;
I have so many needs.
So God, just hear my voice,
And please ignore my deeds.

I’ve never asked for much,
Or anything at all,
But my issues are such,
It’s You I need to call.

I pray for better health
(My back is always sore),
And if I had more wealth,
I’d probably pray more.

If you could help my son
To make the soccer team,
It would help him a ton
To realize his dream.

So what else should I seek?
I’ve never prayed before.
If I sincerely speak,
Then You just give me more?

To pray this easily…
I’m not sure what I mean…
Is prayer supposed to be
Like a vending machine?

God, forget what I said.
This prayer is not the best.
I need You in my head
To make any request.

I should not seek Your grant,
Without seeking Your grace.
The unrepentant can’t
Come to a holy place.

I think You’re there to find.
I feel I’m on my own.
So let me clear my mind
As I approach Your throne.

I want to try again
But this time not for me.
Your concern is for man.
Prayers not for “I” but “we.”

If You send the world peace,
Our needs are not a must.
Give our ego release,
And please just grant us trust.

You’ve seen this mortal man,
And things I never saw.
Whatever is Your plan,
I’m humble and in awe.

The act of prayer itself,
If prayer is to be true,
Will purify the self
To feel closer to You.

I don’t pray to save me.
If my sins You forgave,
Then I pray just to be
Worthy of being saved.

Do you think of your thoughts,
or are they just drifting?
Sifting, idly roaming
your mind.
Paying no mind
to the time,
or purpose, of thought.
With no focus or drive,
are you even present enough
to wonder why?

From others one may seek advice
In moments of doubt,
Though oft' it is ones inner voice
That one should hear out.

Perchance we only seek advice
When we know within
The answer is the hardest choice;
Not to our liking?

Yesterday
I needed
To feel
The ground
Solid
And deep
Under
My feet.
I needed
To feel
My legs
Solid
And strong
On top of
My mat.
And when
My legs
Felt weak
Yesterday
I needed
To feel.
And when
The ground
Felt
Shaky
Today
I needed
To need.
And it was ok
Because I’d practiced.

I forgot,
Today,
To pick
A beat
To set
My flow.
Instead,
I found
The rushing
Of my breath
And the creaking
Of my bones
And the popping
Of my joints
And the whispered screeching
Of my muscles
In the silence.
I remembered,
Today,
To hear
My flow
Set my beat.
And the closing chords
Were lovely.

I peer
Towards the flame
From behind
The gauze of,
“I wish,”
And
“What if,”
And
“Why can’t,”
And it is dark
There.
And it is dark
Until
My breathing seeps
Between the edges
Separating
Wishes from
Cants
And why nots
From what ifs.
And here
I am now
In the clear
Flickering
Light
Of the morning.

My mat
Feels
Somehow
Simultaneously
Too big
For the small
Space
I’ve squeezed
Myself
Into
And
Too small
To contain
What’s leaking
From
My bursted seams.