it's all the matter of:
waiting for the calm
despite having the storm
just pass by;
having a mind crippled with
"i don't even
want to try."

my hands remain shaky,
my body remains tired.
my soul remains weary,

but so far,
it's alright.

they have always been
and always will be.
the morning doth bring laughter,
the sunset a sign of dawning anxiety.

it is loud with every chirp,
it is eerie with distant silence,
it speaks words on top of words,
it is all the layers of tame violence.

(i want to believe there is someone.
i want to believe there is laughter filling the room.
i want to feel the warmth again,
i want to see the sun rise again soon.)

i have a memory so distant
where i put pieces of me unto your palms
& whatever you do with them
i still trust
     remembering your faithfulness
     fixing what couldn't be fixed
          until i am fully mended

it is still distant—i look back on it
as if there's fog in the way;
     & when i shatter once more
          you put me back together
          even when i don't ask.
          you do it every time.

and the fog has been lifted
& from the distant memory i recall
you have always been keeping my pieces intact
          your love is the strongest adhesive;

          i survive every fall.

talk to me in the form of glances
coffee held in one hand
until we finally muster the courage
to intertwine the other

it's easy to tell the difference
between wrong and right
it's easy to tell how much it contrasts;
deciphering black from white.

yet often does the shade
make everything look gray,
shadows cast may trick your eyes,
even the strongest tinge can fade.

they're a long mile apart -
a fire and a golden cup;
the fire is bound to grow
and could be put out with a puff;

yet if you let yourself be fooled
nevermind the salient rut;
it is in a ditch of eternal regret
in which you are bound to end up.

i felt youth in the form of laughter;
the sound bouncing off walls.
light from the sweet summer sky
makes our smiles brighter somehow.

slowly, yet very surely,
you're teaching me to enjoy my youth.
we'll seize the day,
we'll keep laughing until our stomachs ache.

we'll fall in love like there is no tomorrow.

a tangled mess is
what most would call it,
wrapped in a series
of unblossoming madness.

i was blinded by the fact
that i'm letting these roots grow
that i've forgotten to **** out
the thorns of all my sorrow.

her fingers tap on the wooden table
her, with thunder across her face
emotions caught in dire
eyebrows etched together

impatience. every glum beat of her heart
translate into her fingertips.
i feel sorry. tightness wraps around
my neck. eyes search for answers.
there were none in plain sight.

tap. tap. tap.

then silence.

then she left without a word.

my bones are tired
all energy stripped away.
my love, you're my rest.

what if my fate lies
on a silver surface?
my plans and doubts
all thrown into a furnace.
be still and figure out
what your heart yearns for

flip the silver coin,
then flip it once more.