I take a bath in salt water
where gravity does not exist
On the shelf, there is a new set
of the same clothes laid out

There is no concert hall here
and no outside for walking
only a greenhouse
where I like to sniff scents

free of human traces
the skin creams and soap
with which we, counted acquaintances
distinguish ourselves

And when I take care
to *** silent and to ****
not sputtering
leave the light out

and have *** carefully slow
I am the only one on the toilet
in my bed and the bath
who spies on me

Get your bra on Gladys
Lockdown is nearly done
Shave your legs and brush your pegs
Let's get out in the sun.
Put your perm on Doris
Get your hair all in a curl
Some lippy in red and a hat on your head
I'll take you out for  a whirl.
Bin the slippers Mabel
Squeeze your bunions into some heels
A top tight at the bust is really a must,
And I'll pick you up in my wheels.
Chuck out the onesie Doris,
I know that you just didn't care,
In fact stay at home, I prefer being alone
And there's too many people out there.

Mens sana in copore sano
so they say
which these days is a worry
as the sedentary blur
sees a time-lapse
of my fattening *** shift
marginally on the sofa
while the pallor of my skin
makes corpses wince
and message u ok ***?

Given my increasingly potato shape
what state will my cabbage brain be
when they finally give the all clear?

When we are once again allowed near
I envision sitting with my primates
grunting fear as the brave one
reaches for the monolith

It's been a year.

It's been a year of;
Intense pain and immense strain.
Perky days and burning blaze.
Inky skies and victims' cries.

Time will wash all this,
Eyes spill lost promise.

My honey, my sugar, my bonbon, my sweet.
My stomach is bulging, I can't see my feet.
Next time I'm falling in love with a pea
A carrot, an apple or a cup of black tea.
Marry me darling, shower me with kisses,
But do it quick sweetheart or you'll have a fat Mrs.

In this pandemic
I will wait in agony
In feigned resilience
Until I touch your body
Dear daughter of dreams
Color of my existence
Before I collapse
And drown in wasteful daydreams
May you be my real
Not pixels but a warm face
Not boredom but love's embrace

Sometimes, when it seems as if the sky
and earth,
And past
and future,
are colliding,
with no horizon
to keep them apart,
I like to close my eyes,
and think of Now.

Yesterday once made up
                                         the Now,
with colours so vivid and explosive,
sounds so vibrant and patterned,
feelings so tangible,
so real,
it seemed as if you would never be able to forget them.
But Now has turned them into
                                                                   echoes,
and Now has made the colours bleed out
into sepia browns and soft greys,
so that the image,
the memory,
is clear –
but the character, the youth, the feeling,
is disappeared.
  

Yet this is hope –
For today will soon be yesterday,
And tomorrow will always lie awake,
So when it feels like today is just another today,
So why worth the pain,
Grasp the morning with your two palms,
And paint yellows and fiery oranges,
And grasp the evening,
And paint purples and dusky pinks,
So that today is not just another today,
But a new today, a new Now, a new day.
              
          And if it feels as if today will never
end,
Just remember,
that when gravity pulls you down,
and it seems light cannot get through –
it is Time that tethers us all,
like golden trees are tethered to the earth,
and silvery fish are tethered to the tide
and time will move on,
and heal and change and blend and be
the light you now see - or just
                                                     a distant
memory.

For memory is a strange thing,
Like pebbles shaped by water,
It fluctuates and alters with the forces of the sea,
Forming the bedrock of the ocean, yet everchanging
And what was once the present,
is now the past,
So that all you really have to hold on to,
To tether yourself when the current seems too strong,
To rely on when the future may not be a given,
Is your present, your today, and
our Now.