I used to write. Now I barely can hold a pen or type on a computer for more than a minute. Not because I've fallen out of love with writing but because I've fallen out of love with you that inspired me to write. My love for you died when you thought of me as a second choice. My heart no longer had such a symphony on repeat when you leave without the gift of closure.

Your presence became my home and our conversations became the sonnet that I would forever be captivated by. Your guidance became the white flag in my unforgiving battle. Our hearts beat as one, for a time. And then you left and my world became cold and bland no longer in color but in grayscale where I fought to survive but ultimately lost to the void of heartache.

Peeking through the morning haze
Moon in its a-waning phase
Gazes with ever placid face,
Not devoid of any grace,
To behold, observe and mark
Every flutter, cry and bark,
Every drooping of a flower
Bending under dewy bower,
Every ripple in the lake,
Every plant, the true or fake,
To the beholder doesn’t make
It any difference at all;
The dune, the creek, the waterfall,
So different and yet so strange,
So alike to waning Sage

I will use the water
In your bowl
Lighting a fire in a cave far away
Flower your soil
Make it a garden of bouquets
Of petunias and water lilies bright as the dark lakes
In some functional world
Where we can be together
On the rivers,
By lake shores
There are plenty of chores
That water bowl is empty
As the heartbreaks are plenty
There are no chances of surviving in this
Fine, the old town of wars and running soldiers
That's the title of my next *** tape
As the wishes for borrowing instances from a stranger's eyes
And there is no choice of friendliness in the eyes of comeliness

Only through fire and ice
Only through bad and nice
Only through cards and dice
Only through things said thrice
A poets way
another day
trying to leave people with more think
leaving no boat to die and sink.

Mil besos
No replicaran lo que siento
Ni lo que hay entre mis sesos
Empiezo, Te explicó,
Sin embargo palabras no se traducen
A lo que pienso,
Te siento,
Tan cerca de mi,
Pero a la misma vez tan lejos
Como a las estrellas en la noche, que brillan fuera de mi alcance,
Como el fondo del mal, que me arropa entre sal y sufrimiento,
El olor de tu ropa trae pensamientos
Que entre tú y yo
No son tan Santos,
Tu pasado y presente
No se comparara a tu futuro
Ya que será diferente conmigo a tu lado
Te diré cuantas veces te extraño,
Te diré te amo,

Y yo siempre esperare
Ese “más”

The guilt is deep
I feel it in my sleep
Creeping through my bones
Making its way to my soul
I don't deserve you Mama
I don't deserve you

My lies and deception
Turned your love for me to resentment
Wish I could take away the pain I caused you
Make up for every time I wronged you

Your only child, your heart
The memories fade away
I never listened, but you were always right
Stubborn and young, always ready to put up a fight
I don't deserve the love you gave me
I used you, and I'll admit it
I stole,
I threw it all way
For a boy, for a high
Priorities all ****** up
I just wanted alone time

Don't blame you if you desert me
Because I'm not done ******* up
Baffled and confused at this game we call life & love
Wish I could take away
All those disgusting things I said
The disrespect
The neglect for your feelings
But who am I kidding
My selfishness is what got me here

You're all I truly have
You leaving me is my greatest fear
And every night I shed a tear
Because I don't deserve you
I'm sorry mama
For the lies, my refusal to compromise
Yelling at you and never taking your advice
When you were always right
Without a doubt you were always right

I was young, I lost sight
I’ve yet to gain it back
I never want to fight
But I’m hotheaded,
Always on the attack
Say I get it from my father
But is that an excuse?
For blatant parental abuse
For saying I hate you Mama
I lied Mama
I always lie
I couldn’t bear
To let you know the truth
I’m not who you think I am
I am someone
Much worse
And it hurts to write this
Because I know it’s true
And I can’t hide anymore
But I force myself to
For the sake of you Mama
For the sake of you

I speak about money, greed, ego
i write about life, pain emotion, love
i pen about stories
more stories about my story and most stories about your story

I told you about betrayal
cause I once clung to some nobody
i  just like pianos
something about it cools my heart
i 'm only beneficial
they only want my lavish life
i sing about destiny
what do i know about it?

I just wanna use you
cause love is all I steal
i  know something about strangers
Sometimes they fill the void, and maybe execute your wishes

What I’d do if I could see you now:
I’d scream, I’d laugh,
Never let you say goodbye,
Hug you, kiss you,
Jump for ******* joy,
Give you every second,
Each minute of my time,
Losing you was like cutting
The connection to my spine
I’d give all I have in the way of fighting,
Give all the energy contained in lightning,
I’d give up my writing,
****, I’d even give up my arms,
And find a different way to hug you,
If I could just see you now.