period period go away
i do not need you
for i am gay

period period back again
why are you here
i am a man

period period my stomach doing twirls
i cant get pregnant
i **** girls.

I love my parents, but they’re out of it.
For high school graduation, they gave me a gift.
A genie, three wishes, you get the gist.
A big responsibility for an eighteen-year-old kid.
What should I wish for? Well, I don’t know!
Beginning of summer, maybe I’ll wish for snow?
First semester of college, but I don’t wanna go.
Maybe I’ll wish to already know.
Know English, Spanish, math, science, and more,
But I’d rather know what’s on the ocean floor.
Why not cure cancer? Because it seems like a chore.
No, what I really want is the one I adore!
Genie, I wish for my perfect girl.
The most beautiful one in the whole world.
Give me a stunner, one that I can twirl.
Genie said wait, don’t give that a whirl.
I am all powerful, all knowing too.
So I know a secret, one about you.
Now don’t deny it, for you know it’s true.
You don’t like girls, or “doing the do”.
You, kid, are gay. Trust me, I’m the genie.
So don’t ask for a taco when you really want ******.

in ten days,
i'll meet you there
on the thoroughfare,
and it will not be the last time.

the streets of my home state
will become yours in a moment,
and we will share it together,
and it will not be the last time.

we'll go to that theater
where one of my heroes
once played me your favorite song,
and we'll take turns leaning on each other's shoulders
as the film goes on,
and it will not be the last time.

i'll buy you fruity drinks
that you'll make me take sips of,
and we'll trade bites of food at restaurants
that i've been telling you
that you "HAVE to go to" for years,
and it will not be the last time.

we'll get to finally live out
all the plans we've been dreaming up
since you bought your ticket here,
like wandering down that street
with those charming little shops
and blowing all our money
on innocent little trinkets,
and it will not be the last time.

and at the end of our third day,
i'll refuse to let you escape my arms.
i'll take in the scent of your perfume one last time
as your dad reminds us that
your flight is boarding soon
and my mother begins to hold me back.

you'll get to your window seat
and shoot off back towards the bay,
and as much as i despise it
and wish it wasn't so,
it will not be the last time.

and i'll have to learn to live with you
from 1,919 miles away
once more.

the future is dim,
but regardless alight.
in thirteen days,
we'll find ourselves in
the depths of the tunnel once more.
but there will be brightness again somewhere,
several months down the road.

we will find it.
we will be okay,
and i'll see you on the 8th,
and then the 9th and the 10th,
and it will not be the last time.

I can see it in your eyes
the disgust you have for me
but I won't stop loving you,
even when you tell me lies and promises are long forgotten
will you tell me stories and make funny faces when I reveal the truth that you have been trying so long to uncover
No.
I don't love when you say the word "Husband"
but do you ever wonder why
I wouldn't say I hate men when you remind me of my brothers
but can you remind me of that picture in my memories -
a man looking at an 8 year old me in a skirt jumping high and happy
while I play with my jump rope and pleasuring himself?
Do you want me to surrender to my hateful memories of men I have met.
Won't you stop spitting words of hate towards people of the same gender kissing
would you do that to me?
Will you still love me
just like I love you
Mom

The love around
Didn't suffice,
So i ran towards
sins.

every morning,
i wake with the light
of the sun in my eyes.

it’s a gentle yet sudden wake-up call,
as if the universe is
softly knocking on my window,
politely asking for entry
and barging into my bedroom
before i can allow any reply of admittance.
the newly opened entrance
invites the day ahead of me
to come breezing in,
responsibilities i had disregarded
before i drifted off hours prior
now hanging over me
like a stormcloud.

i turn to my left and think of you,
still silent in your sleep
as the morning begins to begin out west.
the flowers on your dresser
reach out to you,
admiring your beauty just as i am
from two thousand miles southeast.
i hope you’re dreaming of something peaceful.
i hope nothing ever wakes you before you’re ready.

i want nothing more than to be with you in this moment,
staining the blankets in your room with my scent
with every second i’m allotted.
or, i wish you were wrapped up with me in mine,
so that after you leave,
i can look for the similar impressions you’ve made
to preserve the memory of being with you
as perfectly as i can.

“a few more years,” you always say.
i’ve been counting down those seconds
since the moment you asked me to be yours.
saying yes to you was
the easiest decision i’ve made.
beginning to love you
a decade before any knots can be tied
and knowing it’s impossible
to flip the table
where we play the waiting game
is the most difficult feeling i’ll ever know.

but someday,
i’ll wake to the sounds
of you shifting next to me.

my eyes will open,
and yours will inevitably meet them
as you turn to face me.
our cat will jump up onto our bed,
and as snow falls outside
and the subway zips underneath us
below the earth we’ve conquered,
you’ll show me that same smile
that i pledged myself to
all those years ago.

in other words,
i’ll wake with the light
of the sun in my eyes.

and in its warmth,
i’ll find enough to bask in
to last me a lifetime.

well,
i'm not totally sure what to say.

but regardless of whether or not
i can get a hold of my words
and shove them into my mouth
so i stop making a fool of myself,

we find ourselves here
at this fork in the road.

i'm not much of a driver
nor a great decision maker.

but as we're making our bright red,
three second stop,
your hand finds my shoulder as if it was designed for it.
the magnets click into place
as the turn signal blinks at the touch of my hand,
and i follow it down the path
i promised us both that i would take.

it's an ordinary thing,
the road we've found ourselves on.
and yet,
i've never driven through snow on a beach before.
i can't seem to get myself used to the weather.

i take in the surroundings
and remind myself to breathe
as your grip on my shoulder loosens.

i feel as though we're doomed,
seeing visions of our car being driven off the cliff
that i swear i keep seeing
in the rear view mirror.

i brace myself for the impact,
the crash,
the fire.

but instead,
you roll the window down
and poke your head outside,
taking in the light wind
as we continue cruising.

the sun shines on your face
as if it knows
you are made of its light.
it opens its arms
to welcome you home,
and you smile and laugh
and tell me to turn the radio up.

so as we speed down the blacktop,
we let the world hear our songs.
and yet, they remain ours and ours alone.

the moment is ours
and ours alone.

we are ours
and ours alone.

and i am yours.
i am terrified of what lies ahead,
but i am yours.

and your body next to me
in the passenger seat
is all i need
to keep me on the right track.