I have loved , and love I shall.
Forever more , till the ticking time tells
You won't come back , but I hope
I stoke the fire , like it hasn't been stoked
I Kindle the feelings , till they blaze
Your the only water I praise
But dehydrated I feel , almost squeezed dry
I know it doesn't help, with each tear I cry.
You've been gone for a year, is this a test?
To see how I take the time I have left ?
I feel like I'm running out of breath
Everyday is like I'm waiting
But a answer , I fall short of getting.
I feel there's a time limit for something
But I can't put the right hands on it .
All I'm left with is three hands
Two of which come to thought , now and again
But every second passes us by like we stand still

Talked with my psychologist today
Come to find out
I am afraid of being sober!
I experience my emotions
Far too intensely
I begin to hyperventilate
White noises fills my head
Involuntary muscle spasms
Heart pounding in my chest
Deep breaths, meditation
Better yet medication
My empathy is an open wound
  Quiet! Concentrate on your legs......

My Mama always told me, that I should never, ever, cry.
That I could only shed a tear, when someone very special died.

I kept that promise, Mama, for many, many, years.
But tonight, I'm filled with sorrow.
A river path has already been created from my eyes to my cheeks.
My body is shaking, My eyes are swollen, My jaw is clenched tight.
For I have lost someone very, very special to me.
Maybe no one can see, and maybe no one can tell, but, Mama,
I lost a little girl.

She ran from me far, far away.
Into the dark, deep, scary woods, where there was no way out.
I tried to help her, I tried to call out her name.
But she thought she could get out herself. And told me not to help.
Oh Mama! You wouldn't believe what happened next!
He came behind her and slaughtered the little girl.
Mutilated her.
Until there was nothing left but blood and bones.

Oh Mama! I'm so sorry!
I'm sorry I could not get her out!
I'm sorry that I didn't try harder to help her escape!
Oh Mama! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

The little, happy girl is gone.
But her killer is still on the loose.
He is swimming in glory and victory.
Showing off her stolen innocence as his award.

Oh Mama,
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that she is gone.

-FreeMind

The heaviness on my chest,
the strangled breaths stinking of wafting toxicity,
the bloodstains on my hands
from a ****.
My mind is whirling,
and I wonder
if this is it
if this is insanity distorted past reality
if I am truly lost in this labyrinth of twisted smiles and white lies
if I have finally finally turned myself into a monster.

Turning towards you,
Being wrapped inside your arms.
I feel the warmth of your breath on my forehead,
The comforts of you on my skin.

Breathing in every part of you.
Breathing out every part of me.

I get lost in your eyes even when you look away,
I get hypnotized by your smile even when you glare at me.

Your anger excites me, your joy amuses me.
Nothing truly matter when you are away from me.

Breathing in every part of you.
Breathing out every part of me.

Paranoid without you,
Turning selfish when in desperate need of you.

My carelessness caused me to become addicted.
This lust for you keeps growing, like a monster in me.

Breathing in every part of you.
Breathing out every part of me.

Oh baby, you can hurt me all you want.
You must know that I will still be here.
Just long enough before my need for you slowly kills me.

These deadly toxins are burning my insides,
But nothing will stop me from whispering
"I love you".


-FreeMind