Last night my best friend's boyfriend broke up with her. As I was holding her in my arms while she sobbed, she asked me "Can you die from a broken heart?"
I told her no, you can't. But it might make you wish that you did. The thing about a broken heart is that you feel like you're life is ending. But it doesn't **** you . It just kills a part of you. And I think someday, weeks, months, even years from now, youre going to realize that losing that part of you, was actually a good thing.
But at some point you have to stop expecting people to be as kind to you as you are to them
While your heart is beautiful and lovely, so many have been turned so cold into stone
At some point you have to stop apologizing, when you know you ve done nothing wrong. You have to stop begging the people you love to stay in your life.
At some point you have to walk away
You have to believe that you deserve more and the right person will never let you believe anything else.
You have to stop trying so hard to make everyone happy
And start focusing on your own mental health.
The people who are meant to be a part of your life will always find a way to stay there.
So at some point you have to move on.
It's not that I don't want to live. It's just that I don't want to keep living like this.
I think about you
And most of the time all I can do is smile
Please stay right here
Even if it's just for a little while
Please don't let my exaggerations
Push you too far away
I'm trying to keep you right here
But I'm not yet brave enough to say
You're smile is contagious you know
And your arms now feel like home
Your lips feel like pillows so soft and warm
Your body is one I wish I'd always known
I'm not so sure what normal is
When it comes down to relationships and you
Please forgive me when I've gone too far
Someone whose healthy for me, I'm not quite use to
Bare with me as I navigate
This new adventure with my heart
Trust me when I say I want this to work
Take my hand, let's give this a fresh start
Ever wish you could erase
that one thing?
Keeping you from your happiness.
That one thing, that took your light away.
Maybe it was a moment,
Or some words spoken,
Maybe its a name of the person who broke your heart,
Or a day it all went wrong,
a week wasted crying over someone who never shed a tear over you,
a year of regret, and heart ache, a year of mistakes.
Ever wish you could erase yourself?
I'm wishing it right now,
staring at myself
looking back at me
in the mirror.
I'm sorry to all the people I hurt while I was hurting
I'm sorry for last minute cancelled plans
And ghosting your text messages
You've done nothing wrong I just can't get myself together enough to answer you right now.
I'm sorry for all of my triggers.
And that sometimes my triggers, triggered you too.
I know I have a lot of them, I know it is frustrating
Believe it or not I've actually come a long way with them though...
I'm sorry for the days i was too irritable and short with you
I understand it wasnt fair.
I'm sorry that the things that upset me, most of the time wouldn't upset other people.
I'm a very emotional person, this is a blessing sometimes but also a curse.
I'm sorry I see things black or white.
I've been hurt so many times, I've built a wall for people in the grey areas.
You're either all the way in, or out of my life completely.
I'm sorry this comes off as dramatic, and unrealistic.
But if you know me well enough, you'd understand why I see it this way.
Regardless of all of this, I'm sorry that I pushed you away because of it.
Because of my, me-ness.
So far away.
When really I needed you right here.
But this is what I do when I'm hurting.
I hurt you because I'm hurting.
None of that is fair.
I'm sorry if you were one of those people.
So if you're gonna leave, leave now
I cant handle one more messy goodbye
I cant watch another person I love walk away
Because my brain was too much for them to handle.
If you're gonna go, go now.
I can't let you in any further.
I can't trust you enough to stay when things get hard.
Because I will fall apart sometimes.
If you're gonna run, run fast
I'll try to chase you though
I know you are someone who's good for me.
Because you didnt judge me when I told you who I really am.
But if you really still wanna stay, please stay right here
and please don't leave.
I want you and I need you.
You're something new and something good, for me, for my soul.
That's why you terrify me.
But I think thats a good thing..
Please don't let me push you away.