Trying to breathe,
TRYING TO BREATHE
into the woods.
An old woman
in a furry hat
& I,
laughing together
still somewhat
lifelike.
Ever too proud
to play
boomerang
or go fetch
for change
FOR CHANGE
we live out
of bags.
Exactly where
we're meant to be
& 'how you say?'
...all that jazz."
--shoo.shu #doubleentendres #poetry #spilledink #inthenow #inthemoment #underdog #homeless #boho #bohemian #wanderlust #gypsy #nomad

I cannot give what I do not have.
I had it once.
I was created/born with it (I think).
I lost it, first time diagnosed,
Most recent when insane,
Do NOT lose trust in your own mind,
I cannot give what I do not have.....
My own mind.........
Doubt asks multiple questions,
I have zero percent answers now,
I know once it gets to less than zero
The negative space will have won.....
And I will have changed.......
But without your current positive space
Within negative space I cannot
Continue with you.
......here we are and I am friends
With
Doubt.......
I face everyone everyday.......
(lots of dots - no negative signs except for this break previously)
Face with Doubt - acceptance, reluctance, no choice - ance :-)
I Learn to question every thought and re-question the motivation behind,
Behind (no mistake) the thought (but my mind slows, I know)
If motivation is OK/acceptable (i.e. non harming - i injured/destroyed insects on the steps to my current housing - I tried avoidance but without guarantee - drink helps ease this guilt also)
Then if the thought will not result in negative spacial harm ( I have no way of quantify-ing this until after the fact but it helps future decision making - (when I can remember :-(      )
but again i lack future projection skills - anyone who reads this with whom I have never physically interacted with - how am I (i) supposed to know the difference/change - too many **ing strange coincedences in my life have helped my current world environment view - but I digress - maybe i should end this :-) - night night (in Eire) and no more beer :-)  listening to 'nice' (personal intrepretation) music now - stop typin....... )

Frustration withers my mind.
I float around today like a piece of string.
Nothing seems to be going right,
So I rub my temples and ground myself.
Far from focusing on reality,
Any distraction tornados my focus.
All I want to do is follow my ambition,
But I cannot get the wind to blow in my direction.

There is a joy in nothingness, all the way from Donne.
Just being and believing that nothingness has won.
Let others strive for the something's, the battles to be fought.
Whilst we rejoice in the mundane that is so often lost.
When pleasures prove to troublesome, love fades away
Enjoy the chance in nothingness,
Let it help you find your way.
To be, to smile, to cry, to laugh,
To wake up everyday,
It's the nothingness that pushes through,
The something's never stay.