Finally, I was there, so close that I could almost touch you.
After so many years looking at you only by a computer screen and old paper pictures,
It feels like you are a creation of my mind.
How would you look in front of my eyes? Will you be different from my dreams?
Strangely, I’m not nervous.
The idea of that encounter be only an illusion was keeping my anxiety down.
That couldn’t be real, could be?
Suddenly, I see you.
Dressed all in black, your hair moving as you walk, smile on your face.
As you’re coming closer I start to forget who I am.
Is my body flying? Did I forget how to speak? Do I remember how to breathe?
I feel numb.
You’re finally in front of me and I can be sure now that you are real.
I see the sweat running down your neck and your green eyes shining with fire.
You don’t even look human, you are perfect.
You give your hand to us and I know that if I take it, my heart will stop.
But I can’t reach it…
It’s so close but, at the same time, it’s impossible to reach it.
I finally can see you but I also can finally realize that you are superior.
You’re so far away from me, an unbreakable barrier.
I still have fights to face, I’m full of monsters in my head, the paranoias that don’t allow me to have peace. I’m still looking for a place to call home, hoping that one day I can find my own light to shine.
But you...you are the light that can guide millions. You’re literally a star.
Your image, your soul, your heart and your existence feels superior to us all.
For so many times, you helped me to fight my fears and, sometimes, even fight against myself.
You were my teacher, my savior, my idol and my friend. My great example and my great influence.
I dreamed of making you feel my gratitude so you would feel there is someone in this world that you saved uncountable times.
But I can’t say this, you can’t listen to me, you are so close but also so farther...
At the end of the night, the magic is over, I can no longer see you.
Maybe I will never see you again, but it’s for sure that I will never reach you.
Did anything change in my heart? Do I admire you more or do I need to say goodbye to the hopes you gave to me?
I can’t remember which road I should take now.
But I know that when I fall asleep, what I will see it won’t be a dream anymore, but a memory.
This is the first piece of what I wish to build in a trilogy.
It's about the first time I saw my idol and, in the stage, I discovered that he was a god himself.
