I'm alone and it's killing me.
You cannot even speak, cry, sing, laugh, or do anything.
You cannot even breathe on your own.
I just want you to hold my hand again
But no,  you are not allowed to.

I was to shake you awake, but I'm afraid that I cannot.
The doctors told me that it's time to let you go.
I don't want to though.
Can you please just open your eyes and say hello
So then they don't have to separate us.

Why must you be asleep?
Why must you be in a
Coma.

I'm stuck for words at the moment
I can't seem to find the right rhythm
To describe you

It's almost like the sweetest part of you,
The one that I always knew loved me most
Was hidden away from me for all the months
That it was too cold for his steady warmth
Like he was too afraid of becoming frozen
And decided to lock himself away
Inside of you

Because of this feat
I've found you to be more controlling,
Causing me pain in ways I never thought you could,
Or ever would, it hurt me to be with you,
Though it hurt far more trying to flee,
And so I stayed, holding on to the memories of the sweet boy
Who always packed an extra sweater
With me in mind, and never forgot
To kiss me goodnight
I hoped with all my heart he wasn't a facade,
And that he'd come back to me,
But hope faded fast,
I wasn't sure if we'd last

This is where I'm stuck,
Because I'm still dazed by it all
The weather is warmer,
The sun shines brightly
He's happy, Really happy
Not just for the minute or hour
Not because he just finished getting off either
I honestly don't know what happened,
Maybe he sees my effort?
Maybe that's all that sweet boy I missed so dearly wanted,
To see my effort in trying so hard to keep us together,
Because beyond my fast falling hopes,
I saw him today, all day.
In every time he said "I love you," I saw him
And it wasn't just an echo of something he should say,
But rather his own heart speaking to me directly,
I felt he meant it every time,
Complete and total joy well up inside me now
Love dripped from each word and syllable he spoke,
His breath stank of it
And I loved it
And I knew he loved me,
Despite all my horridness, he loves me.

My god, I can't tell people enough of how happy I am,
I've found the secret!
I know what to do!
Can it have been this simple all the while?
All I had to do was but open my lips
Let the sounds of my thoughts roll off my tongue
So easy, so simple,
And yet so hard all the same
But I know what to do now
And if this is what it takes to make my sweet boy
Greet me with smiles and sweet kisses every day,
That I'll **** well suffer through the hardships of change
Until it becomes as natural as loving him.