I went for an X-Ray the other day. My name was called
and after the expected delay, I heard a nurse say
Right knee? I said Yep! She said “Come this way…
Can you get your trouser leg up to your thigh"?
I said “No… these skinny jeans don’t go that high”.
“In that case” she said looking me up & down... with a frown
Pop in that cubicle… and put on this gown!

For a start…it took me ages to get these trousers off…
and force the rest of my stuff into the carrier bag supplied
and then, when I saw the gown, I very nearly died!
It would have fitted me just fine if I’d been 18 again
but the gaps and bulges in the thing were a farce...
and allowed everyone in the corridor to see my fat 71 year old ****.

I said out loud when I sat down again in the queue
“You know…I had an inferiority complex before I met any of you.
But this has definitely taken me down a notch. And I apologise about the view”.
However, inside the X-Ray room with all the techie kit and Radiographer Rob,
I felt better… The pain in my knee had almost gone apart from a distant throb.
Then he said “You’re completely safe, just lie back calm, quite still…serene”.
Whilst he clicked the shutter from the other side of his lead lined screen. (So he was alright then!)

Well, I’m home again now, hobbling about… It’s bearable (not like childbirth ladies) but not great.
I’m sitting here with my leg up waiting for the letter that will let me know my fate.
Ah yes… men and pain! There is a well know fact about the differences between the sexes.
It’s proven that, with men, colds become flu…and ailments:- epidemics… (No really!)
So, here’s the letter… Now...will it be Ointment? Physio, to transform a permanent slouch?
Or a keyhole flush with a catheter? Or - Oh no!…
For me - it’s a titanium replacement knee!… Ouch!

Somebody pass me that gown!!!

I received the worst news today
I felt my life start to fade away.
I rushed in an instant over there
Breaking multiple laws without a care.

I saw the nurses
The confusion on their face
As a crazed man ran through their door
Everything in him beginning to race

"Where's my wife"
I asked in fear
Scared for my life
Of the news I'm about to hear.

They took too long
I saw her in her bed
I sprinted over to her
Thinking the worst in my head

She saw me
With a worried look in her eye
I held her in my arms
And began to uncontrollably cry.

So much has happened
The past few hours of my life
But it feels like forever
Since I last held my wife

And here I sit
Next to her bed
Holding her hand.
And kissing her head.

I'll sit here forever
If need be
Next to my wife
Till they let her free.

Until then
I'll let life unfold
And I shall sit right here
Putting my life
On hold.

I hate hospitals
I love the work they do
But I still hate them
I only remember their ***** floors
And disgusting food
The nauseous feeling
And the lingering death
The tear-stained seats in the waiting rooms
The automatic doors to the ICU
I hate it all
And I have the utmost respect
For those who work there

Counter tops

Sterile, alcohol free sanitizer

Bare feet sweating

Sticking to the glassy

White porcelain floors,

Blood soaked rags in the trashcan

Peaking above the metal box

Sneaking looks

Mocking my pathetic state

The needle digs deeper into my right arm

Small plastic tubes tickling my shoulder as they

Crawl up to the small rack that

Follows me from room to room

The bag slowly dripping

Pushing weight

Bubbling inside my abdomen

The blurry molecules of light tickle the tips of my

static lips

my spine twisting

posture arching

Slowly I melt to an almost horizontal state

Craving a hand

The sensation of touch

To make an entrance

push the hair from my forehead

Or fingers to trace my back

And pull me upright

The flicker of fluorescent

While time perpetually lulls on

I do my best to grip onto reality

Drip

Into purgatory

Slipping from a sleep

“I’ll be home later”

I didn’t have time to grab shoes

He stayed in bed, peaceful,

didn’t even lift his head

Wiping away as I speed mercilessly towards the red lights

the rain slips through the cracks of the night

I let the four am turn into nine

And I wait for him

To make time.

Laying on a bed in Urgent Care
Life stops seeming to be so fair,
Not that it could be or ever was,
But I’d kept telling myself this because
It was easier than facing myself.

Oh God but this is such a journey
-- Thoughts from on top a gurney --
I feel like death and want to die,
God, life sure is one hell of a ride:
I’m looking for the nearest exit.

Life’s normal denizens keep striding by,
Too far to hear my strangled reply.
If I could possess them for my own,
I would leave them behind in my body sewn
So they could drink of my daily delirium.

I’m sorry, is the bitter too loud?
Sometimes my anger I will no longer enshroud.
I keep it under wraps to protect the people best,
Lest they know how hard I am pressed
To keep myself from snapping.

I will not lie, it angers me so:
To see myself disabled while others glow.
I hate to be pretentious but I was told
That the world was mine to hold.
My desolate hands lust in silence.

But I am tired, worn, and low;
I will fall away from this anger’s afterglow.
I will sink back down away from this
Inspiration will become another game of hit and miss.
The waiting game begins again.

The walls will keep me secure and cold
And as always I will stay controlled.
And yet you, oh God from up above,
Could I learn to look on you with Love?
This heart is ice and needs some tenderness.

spent a birthday,
and a new year too,
in a cold and unexciting psych ward.
(I'd been there so many times
it was really nothing new.)

I had so much free time.
I had nothing much to do.
I opened up a game on their computer
and laughed:
I was still save game slot number 2.