swallowed by the night
i forgot to say it was good
i’ve been searching for myself
but who i once was is dead
sometimes she cries out from the ashes of my memories
i gotta let her burn
let the world turn
she’ll always have a friend in me
time passes so fast and each moment i learned to cherish because the end is inevitable
everything in hindsight will soon be forgotten
hidden in a trance
i’ll save the last dance for when love finally understands
my wounds yearn for relief
a gentle caress filled with genuineness
i’ve felt the universes kiss before
on my wrists and on my lips
don’t tell me when it’s over
just tap me on the shoulder and wave goodbye
life has always been a “let’s try another time”
hide behind the hours chimes
in the night i forfeit my will to cry
help me find the reasons why my hands can’t grasp the hour glass as before
i watch the specks hit their doom
it’s always a constant rhythm that puts us in a better room
life hasn’t beat me yet
but time has something up its sleeve
as long as i dream a little dream
they can’t catch me

we run through life's tunnel--
terrified,
walls covered in mirrors,
our reflections always on display
for the passersby.

a straight path,
reminding us of our imperfect
reflections,
until we reach the end--
glass hitting us right in the face.

that's all we see at the end--
ourselves,
and all the people we wished we could be,
replacing our reflection.

in reflections, what we see
is never what we want to be.

it was finally here staring at me
the opposite of oblivion
it smiled and said “i told you so”
the light
the light at the end.... though i know i have more to travel
i can’t help but appreciate every single thing up until now
nothing is perfect but it’s finally worth it
i’ve never felt the calmness so clear
it resonates with me in each sunset, each breath, and smile
it’s my motivation when all i have left are miles
i used to think i couldn’t go on
but life has showed me being courageous has its perks
i’ve grown from the dirt where they left me for dead
my petals are finally unraveling
the moonlight shines different than the sun when you’re not consumed
life was once a tragedy
now i can take a deep breath and genuinely express gratitude
the arrival came a few days ago
it’s there everywhere i turn
reminding me that i finally made it

help me to believe in love again
help me to accept the idea that your heart can burn for someone
it can leave you feeling like the ground is the sky and i can’t be without it
these days i’d rather be alone
and i find comfort in the inevitable
but maybe that’s the greatest love i have ever known
loving myself enough to let myself grow

it’s only a matter of time
until this second collapses into the next
an unknown abyss peaks it’s way into the intricacy we all measure
it was my pleasure to bestow it on to you
my vision is captured when the light is leaking through
somedays i wish i could turn back the clock
some days i wish i could make it stop
but majority of my days i sit here in gratitude
because i never thought i’d make it this far
the world at large in my backyard
i stare at the fickle waves and sway with their motions
i realize who i’ve become i’ve grown a shell of patience thicker than the ocean
i’ve learned to cradle the unknown and coax it gently and sing it to sleep
i have everything i ever needed and i know that’s enough to feel free
i don’t know why emptiness still tugs at me
it’s temporary like the phases of the moon
so i stay hopeful and steer clear of the preconceived doom
i’ll draw my name in the sand every time i flash a smile toward the open sea
it’s always been the little
things that made my heart feel like it wants to bleed
empty your pockets and dismantle the creed
fill your eyes with all the lips which mouthed they were sorry
i’m always gonna say i’m fine because i was built to coincide
it’s only a matter of time until all that’s left is my atoms
i’m the type of star catcher nobody can seem to fathom
it’s all an illusion anyway
it only matters if you let it

i remember the night it was supposed to snow
you called me on the phone
and we stayed up all night exchanging our thoughts as we waited for the first flake to drop
some nights i miss your voice and the times you’d call me in the middle of the night drunk at a bar just to see how i was doing
i could smell the liquor through the phone
i wish i’d let you kiss me that night but for some reason i didn’t let you
we drove all around in the night and i showed you my old house where i lived for not too long
you kept trying to make me laugh so you wouldn’t come off too strong
you told me about how your brother died
and i tried you keep you from crying
you kept grasping my fingers when silence fell in my car windows and started every sentence with my name
we went back and forth about the tragedies in our lives but didn’t play the blame game
we smoked a little bit and i parked my car not too far from where you slept
i wonder if that night is something that you kept
not with you always but from time to time
you kissed my cheek goodnight and called me the next morning
i can’t say i miss you
i wish we could’ve stayed friends
i think i should apologize
it’s always good to make amends
or maybe not
farewell urban

there’s a calm in the air, in the water, in my heart
the skies no longer rub off and make me blue
it only feeds me truth
it’s better than it once was
my blood is more unapologetic and my eyes they wander
i’m walking through the gravel barefoot and it eventually turns to snow
in my mind you stand in front of me and i’m asking “what else do you want to know?”
i awake and my breathing releases calm
the anxiety has ceased and it no longer shows itself by the dawn

my car broke down
and it made me think of how everything breaks and loses its place
only to be replaced
maybe that’s why it bothered me so much
i took it as a life lesson
but it still didn’t lessen the load
stress on my mind
anxiety for breakfast
i know it gets better from here
i always tell myself that anyway
all the old things fade not meant for you
and better things come along
those who come along make you anew too
i got a broke down car and i live pretty far
but my friends still love me
i’m trying my best to see the rest of the big picture
my car was smoking coming down the causeway
so i lit a blunt and smoked too
and told myself “this is it” everything is becoming anew

wake up, it's September again
time to love my friends and make amends with myself
i'm trying to gain altruistic ecstasy through things aside from wealth
from my hands i will rise and from my mind i will provide
i'm uncovering the distant parts of my heart that i let die
i'm an optimist with experience and i hope you don't ask why
a mischievous gust of wind sets my sails to another try
opened eyes and ears, surpassing over thought fears
i'm finally remembering how to get here
lost maps and closed hands
i’m opening up and lifting my head
contemplating this moment and releasing the dread
light fills me up and i can't come down
i wake up once again, only this time i'm found

the tip of the needle
sometimes it stings
but you have to get to a point where you can’t let it hurt you anymore
a breath of fresh air tastes like there’s more
more to this life
i know it’s there wallowing in the corners of my consciousness
in a place where change is the only constant
i grip it and hold it close
it’s the only thing you can healthily overdose
each new experience hopefully helps me steer clear of an old one
i forgot how to remember
memories aren’t dire to me anymore
today is enough to hold dear
you already lost by trying to hate me
this new life of mine
i’m still trying to get the hang of it
i know i’ll reap what i sow
but that’s the point of letting go