Heaven's really a place on earth with you,
Your eyes and smile on me again,
My chest sank, I smiled and I felt home,
I could replay that forever and never have enough,

You talked and I swear there was magic,
The dance of your hair, the sparks of your speech, the majesty of your eyes,
Separated from the fabric of the universe,
You stand alone with your grace and splendor,

With divine luck, I found a strand of your hair,
I held it tight at first then stopped and played it,
Words of fairytale manifested in that one strand,
I lost it, wasn't sad cause you'll give me another,

Your arm felt so soft, I wish I held it longer, I wonder what you felt,
I never wanted to take my thumb off of it,
I searched for your pulse, the core of your heart,
The summer to my icy heart, winter to my fiery mind,

I never knew finish anything I've written on you,
Just like how I never want us to end either,
I don't need much but I'll always need you,
You and your ten thousand volt smile,
My sinoatrial nodes are still jealous of you :)

I miss you, my love,
That's all it really is,
I find you in your music,
Still it feels like hell,

I miss your smile,
I never knew I could,
I just want you happy,
You've cried enough,

I miss your laughter,
The echo of it in my ear,
Attention wasn't my thing,
Your eyes have me frozen still,

I miss your divine hair,
The sight of it is electric,
I miss your eyes, oh your eyes,
I never got enough of it,

Come back home soon,
It's just been 17 minutes
Yeah I'm dramatic but it's you,
I long for your grace and love,

'You're the ocean, I dive in you and I find beauty most people can't see'

I finally know what that means,
Come home, my love, I ache for you,
But I can wait, I know why,
You're so worth waiting for :)

I refuse, my breath goes on and on,
My trauma's vanity lives on and on,
Self loathing poet, poor instant coffee,
Where is the hand that held the dagger?

Serrated stabs, fueled searing, a silent darkness,
A child taught to shut up never gets a voice,
As she threatened suicide, my voice vanquished,
You got away, I have your stabs on me still;

Nothing made sense after, once I wanted to fight fire,
Because my favorite color was red, still is;
I wanted to be a pilot then I wanted to be dead,
No wonder I loved the supposed color of oblivion;

An arrow that still flies towards a nothing,
Without a voice, the mold solidifies,
After all of it, I did try, never knew for what,
For a peace I can keep, a stillness that isn't deafening.

Monochrome strings, fizzled out currents,
Dull thumps, dead thumps, redrum me,
The theatre of my undoing and my banes,
The graveyard of unburied, broken dreams;

The heart was made to feel and Lord, I felt,
The vacuity of a thousand dead suns,
The gravity of a tempered yellow star,
What grows the more you take away?

The grief of the fireflies, burned without the fade,
The oddity of a moonflower for one glorious dusk,
None of this makes sense and neither do I,
Lost in the plot, lost a lot, take out the glock;

The revenants of my wounds have resurfaced,
I slip across it's horizon, overcome by it's strength,
Just me and Lana tonight, let the wildflower burn,
Tomorrow's dusk, I'll still be here.

I lay on the warm bed,
Heated by an unforgiving sun,
Indifferent to how I felt or wanted,
Misery is my birthright;

I looked at my wrist, my slightly sunken veins,
Maybe light's wavelength is a facade,
More green than blue, more death than life,
Tainted blood, still blessed with beauty and grace;

My skin burned, was something trying to escape?
Did the wraiths of my past terrify the demons?
Have I gone insane trying to make sense of it all?
Our dying sun does not care, capitalism has won;

The tired lights of the stars and the ever-growing dark,
My arms are weary from the weight of my choices,
Losing a war does not make you a victim always,
The land is unwelcoming, evolution's mutant regret;

I remember those raw glances,
Not that I caught you looking,
My skin still sears warm from it,
Your desire echoes between my bones;

I remember eating fast just to leave,
you smiling so coy and awestruck,
The tiny soft silences spoken even,
so much was said and exchanged;

The feel of you, your voice in my ears,
Tangled and forever tethered me to you,
The weight of your love is a mystery,
I certainly know it's gravity and nature,

I could gaze on your heart, every shade,
Even after all this time, I'm so in awe,
I've loved you all the same, never enough,
You who reminded me to laugh again;

I sit alone in all my flooded decks,
Folded, split, humid and unrecognizable,
Severed across the planes of my being,
I never saw myself in a mirror anyway;

My chest thumps painfully,
The echoes of systole and diastole,
The sound of life, I remain,
Your voice plays in my head too,

Home is never far away,
Will you hold me through the dark?
I see the shore yet I cannot stand,
Will you sacrifice me, my love?

Burn away all my old ways,
Reflect your light into my veins,
Will you call me your own?
Claim me away from the unseeable?