Again and again I go back to it.
To its slimy and suffocating grasp.
It’s clawed grip on my heart.

Why am I not committed?
Maybe a part of me likes this world I am in.  
Maybe a part of me likes how broken the world is.
Maybe a part of me doesn’t want the world to get better.
My spirit and flesh is weak then who can I fight with and against?


Don’t let me go there again....o please.
I want to be led into that promised land.
What if I can’t make it?
What if I am not perfect.
Not the perfect leader...the perfect child of God.
Why am I stressing?
Can’t
      B r
E a the.

Oh the pain of the grip on my heart.
It’s claws digging deep.
It’s claws crushing it.
Can’t
B r E
A t
H.      E....

We had commitment
Lacked intimacy and passion
We lost that feeling, that connection
But I guess what happens, happens
I thought we’d be in it for the long run
Thought you were my only one
But sometimes strong love deteriorates
Turning into empty love
We didn’t cheat, only argued
The commitment was there
But we lost that attachment
That closeness
I should have noticed
The detachment
You were absent
I didn’t know it would happen like this
If only I could rewind
But sadly I just sit here and reminisce
Why did I have to be so **** blind
Our love turned into empty love
Our love dwindled and died.

Waiting on your ring
Your silence is deafening
Tick. Tock. Maddening.

Even when I tried to deny it, you were always there
You are my hidden sunrise on a day filled with clouds

Confused and misguided I found myself in the bookstore,
Looking for myself in the writing of poets,
Where pain and love met, I yearned for more
Found myself in disguise, broken, feeling time fly

Broken and insecure, I found myself in the bookstore.
Reading about my past lovers, was I not strong enough for the storm?
Loved a man who failed to explore,
The woman inside me begging for more

Lost but committed, I found myself in the bookstore.
Reminiscing on our lust, was I a bore?
Picking up a book filled with promises,
Will I ever get what love has in store?  

Running towards lust, I ended up broken in the bookstore.
You left me broken but wanting more
Addicted to your soul, I failed to remember..
That I met you at the bookstore

-Henessy J. Beltre

feeling trapped but i am not confined
all of my fears inside my mind
can't scream, can't run, nowhere to hide
alarms are blaring, i'm dressed in white
i'm choking, i'm falling
i don't know why
the sky is blue, birds are singing
i'm treated well but my ears are still ringing
i'm running as far, as far as i can
from all that is good, from a stand-up man
still, nothing is wrong
but the alarms keep going
it could be a false alert but i won't risk not knowing

as i am looking back on all the bridges i've burned
and nothing has changed, not a lesson was learned
my heels are callused, my tears run dry
i tread onward
leaving behind
the birds and the sunshine and flowers that may bloom
for the fear i may **** them, i presume
so the seeds go unplanted and i'll sit in the rain
because it hurts way less
when you're prepared for the pain

Quiet, still, afraid and alone,
I cried out, “Who will hold my hand?”
I felt a voice I had not known
Say, “I will.”

Paralyzed and drowning in fear,
I cried out, “Who will hold me close?”
I felt embraced by a voice near
Say, “I will.”

When loneliness felt close to death,
I cried out, “Who will kiss my lips?”
I felt a voice with tender breath
Say, “I will.”

Hopelessly desperate, no control,
I cried out, “Who will be my love?”
I felt a voice that touched my soul
Say, “I will.”

Her voice I felt set my love free,
I cried out, “Who will love you back?”
I felt my voice outside of me
Say, “I will.”